Friday, December 30, 2011

The last day of the year and the end of my pantang!

YahoOOOo although i am not that strict on my pantang days, but at least i can lay off the guilty part now!! and hubby hopefully wont be as strict to me anymore. hehe

went back to alor setar to bring baby aleena to meet up with her grandparents. she is one lucky baby who got both side of grandparents. cause my niece not as lucky as her. and of course she is the main attention this past few days. as tok umi dont wanna let her go. only during feeding time will she be handed to me. hehe so cute.

what is pantang to me?
pantang makanan yang berangin dan sejuk.
i do urut on the first 3 days and bertungku trough out my pantang. but miss out occasionally.
i do pakai stokin cause i find it is very comforting. i dont know why after giving birth i always felt a bit colder than before. chilly je rasa.
i do pantang ICE! and CAFFEIN!OMG none of this two for 44 days already? clap clap! and will go on from here on.
i do pantang seafood cause i am allergy to them , i dont wanna be itchy, no drugs can be taken dowh! other than that gua bantai semua. badan feel healthier.
i do go out to the malls but max 2 hours.cause of feeding time too.still not good at nursing in public.
i drink lots of water .

for next year i dont have any new year resolution precisely. but i do want to give the best for baby aleena! cant wait to see her progression! yippeee..

happy new year everyone!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

perkara campur-campuran

1.banyak gila blog aku baca, yang baru jadi mak ada masalah sama dengan aku. which is tak ada susu. sebenarnya memang la kita 4 hari pertama tak patut ada susu. ada colostrum dan tak banyak, sebab perut baby sebesar buah cherry ja. i know about this already, but i think all new mother face the same problem and become panic.
those yang dah lama jadi mother biasanya lupa and mention that owh sepatutnya susu memancut keluar. wth weh. negative. and after a few weeks bila susu kita tak cukup and kita top up formula diorang condemn kita pulak. aww no no no a big no, just because god give you such a good milk production doesnt mean you can condemn others. as long as the baby is feed and this is our own baby, suka hati mak-mak itulah! kau ingat mak-mak tu kasi susu pekat manis buat teh tarik ke?gittew
S26 or enfamama tauuu...kau tahu ke?

2,perasaan aku ke atau bila start feed baby guna EBM trough bottle, baby bila direct feed macam tak cukup minum. ke susu dalam breast ni yang tak cukup? entah, mula la nak fed up.sedih plak dengar baby merengek nak susu. masalahnya if tak pump nanti bila masa nak buat stock nak masuk kerja? sigh.

3. rasa nak berhenti kerja. boleh?

4.sumpah rasa aleena minum susu tak cukup, pasal tak gemuk pun anak aku. sigh.. tunggu next check up. tak naik 1kg siap.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

baby sleeping pattern

i bought this for baby aleena as she like to turn her head sideways. often always! so worrying. so i bought this. hah dok static situ. muahahhahahahaha evil laugh!

my baby aleena sleeping pattern is so hay wire. one day she slept trough out the night, and another day she wont.
at first during her 30th first day, she doesnt sleep much at night. one hour is a yay for me!

and then she started to sleep more. she only ask for milk every 2 hours. another yay for me!

now sometimes she sleep up to 3 hours.yay! like last night she slept for 3 hours then only she wakes up for milk and went straight back to sleep. she dindt even open her eyes trough out the night.hehe. yay i got 3 hours each sleep last night. after more than a month of sleepless night!

but if i put baby aleena in to cot she only sleep for 1-2 hours top. 2 hours is rare. i google up and apparently it is called separation anxiety. no wonder when she sleep with me after every feed she will sleep for 3 hours! baby saya manja gittew!

i will not give up on the cot cause i know as she grow older for sure she need to sleep there. as for now once in a while i will let her sleep with me. sempit noks katil, mak pak dia besaq! kalau cik tau cik beli katil satu lagi sambung.coi.

Friday, December 23, 2011

1 month old aleena can play


i look up at some baby site to see what baby aleena can do now.
they say she is learning of her surrounding and learning that she actually has hand and feet! i decided to put her on this and let her play.
at first she so malas to raise her hand because maybe she felt it is heavier. dasar kamu aleena. then when it started to make sound she actually responding to it.

and her auntie nana show some mickey mouse clubhouse clip and she actually love it. seem like she listen to it.


Tuesday, December 20, 2011


family planning is a must. one thing for sure is that when i was pregnant last time with baby aleena, i was sick trough out my pregnancy. i had asthma and coughing all 9 months. i have recurrent upper respiratory tract infection and was on numerous medicine too.

i was worried that all the medicine might affect my baby and it make me down sometime.alhamdullilah aleena came out perfectly normal, thank you Allah s.w.t.
but i wasn't healthy and felt so uncomfortable trough out my pregnancy.

and so i decided to actually do a proper planning before i get pregnant again.
and i have decided to use implant.i have consult my obgyn and she also suggested to use implanon. but i wont be doing at the private hospital because it is too expensive. it will cost mr rm600 alone for the implanon and other charges are not included. so i decided to do it at LPPKN> for the cost of rm320.

called them just now, but need to call them back on the 44 days of pantang to actually set an appointment date.
to set an appointment and be qualified to use implanon at their center is that dont have sex yet with your husband and they asked me how long is my confinement. 44 days? ahaks.. i should ask which pantang are you referring to? haha

and why i choose this implanon? because saya sangat malas nak makan pil perancang walaupun saya sangat compliance( kata pun pharmacist kan), saya malas nak kena injection, saya malas nak kangkang depan dokter lagi untuk pakai IUCD, and saya malas nak pakai condom sebab karang nak buat projek lupa beli macam mana? ahahaha

hopefully the appointment date is not far away. wanna settle it as soon as possible baru lah boleh pergi honeymoon hehe

breast feeding dilema

im in a huge dilemma! i really love direct feed. breast feeding is a joy to me.but unlike any of you yang ada stock EBM, i dont feel it is clean? weird of me.
can the one who take care of aleena, beside my mum knows how too handle ebm?

can i store enough of ebm or not? i dont know.

and can i cope up with the stress and what if im going for outstation? i dont want to be worry about it all the time which i am now.

i know nak seribu daya tak nak seribu dalih. but this is not just dalih,this is i am not up to it, saya tak mampu?

i wish i can take cuti menyusu up until baby is 6 months, but i guess not.and i will breast feed baby until 3month old only.

but i cant make the decision alone, need to discuss with mr hubby first.
sigh..but this is not a final decision yet. pray for me.

Monday, December 19, 2011

breastfeed secara baring

OMG! haha alhamdullilah setelah berusaha keras(coi) saya telah berjaya breast feed baby aleena secara berbaring.yipee. best comfy okay! and baby aleena seem more relax and enjoy the position that she slept after each feeding macam kenyang sangat.

i guess the reason is that i can tolerate breastfeeding in longer time compare to sitting down, that makes me so tired, restless and back pain.beside even baby aleena is not comfortable because she is not laying straight. hopefully it is true she is more satisfied drinking her milk this way.insya allah.

another reason is that i want to breast feed laying down so that hubby dont have to swing aleena for so long and i can actually sleep straight away after breast feed her. kesian he ting tong at work.even though i also dont get much sleep since aleena dont slept much at night.

owh and i hate pumping milk. i salute those mothers who pump milk so often and make their stock so early. unlike me i am so malas! i dont get the urge langsung and not comfortable doing so. breastfeeding is so easy. i wish i can take cuti menyusu up to 6 months. but i cant. i really need my salary as i have so much of responsibility.

okay adios.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

aleena schedule

whenever she wakes up, feeding time.
slept on and off a few times.
10.00am- mandi time!
then feeding time again and slept on and off.

sleep and feeding.
5.00pm-mandi time again..

sleep and feeding.
10.00pm- bonding time with abi. so mr hubby will rock aleena in her swing while mummy will sleep.
12.00am-1.30am-feeding,sleeping and mummy time again.

every 3-4 hours is diaper changing. unless she poo in interval. extra lah.
playing is in between sleeping and feeding, with mummy or grandparents and auntie or her uncle.

every 2-3 hours is feeding time. and she latch for 15-30minutes each. sometimes more. and then she will have some self soothing and calming time if she doesnt doze off immediately. then off to her swing if she doesnt sleep after that.

now after pantang ended. will be outing in interval of her sleeping time.haha. tak sabar.


i still think that i dont breast feed aleena correctly i mean the way she latch on me. she seem to get only nipple most of the time. but since she is comfortable that way i always make do. no wonder my breast and nipple is still sore.

i am watching some videos to correct it. since no one teach me how to breastfeed correctly and i am learning it myself anyway since day 1. and now i wanna learn breast feed while lying down. so that i can sleep at night. but i am scared to do so because my breast is kind a too big and i might suffocate aleena.

and since every time i breastfeed aleena, the other side of the breast always leaks some milk. some i mean usually 1 0z every feeding! and wet my bra and my t-shirt, so i get this avent milk collector. and now i can collect some milk to store since i am so lazy to pump! wohooOoo.i need to go to work at least a day to settle a few document. and the thought of leaving her is really scarring me because of my milk stock. and so i hope i can manage to stock some milk for her while i will be away for a while. ok malas gila nak pump susu jangan end up i gave up and give her formula. and by giving formula doesnt mean im a bad long as i feed her then it is alright.

the reason that i am so upset with breast pumping session is that whenever i pump i always get 1-2 oz only. max 3oz. then aleena will wakes up to breastfeed. then i have to give up the one i already pump.sigh. since i am so damn lazy, i dont find the time to pump yet. will do soon. hehe.

i really want to breast feed while lying down but baby aleena is so small. sigh. grow up bigger and fast baby!

Friday, December 16, 2011

awkward feeling

okay when my mum and people around me telling me that my baby so attach to me and that my baby aleena will look at me and wants only me, i feel weird and awkward. like are you sure people my baby likes me that much?

because i used to take care of my nieces. and of course they will prefer their mother over us regardless how much time we spent with them, in the end at night time they still wants their mother to console and comfort them.

and now i have my own baby who so in love with her mama.which is me!!
yay! i still feel awkward, and i cant believe that i someone else love me that much beside my family and my husband of course.

and when hubby says that baby aleena prefer me than him, i felt weird like come on for real? hehe ..kesian hubby. i dont think baby aleena prefer me much more than him, it is just that i am the one with the breast of milk! haha

and 1 think for sure, the moment baby aleena was born in this world i felt so humble. not proud.humble.with god gift and the responsibility that lies within.

and all i know is that i am so in love with baby aleena already.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

ketakutan di malam hari

i dont mind taking care of aleena during day time. but as night approach i am so restless and scared!

first of all during day time i have all the helps i need. it is up until 12 am precisely.
then i am all alone. i dont want to wake anybody up and so for whatever reason i will face aleena alone.

those few days was horrible because i dont know anything about her. i dont know if she is making all those noises because she is in pain?, colic?, hungry,? sleepy?, wet diapers?, uncomfortable?, need mummy? need daddy? owh god only knows how miserable i am.

not only that when she dont sleep i become a bit of zombie too, and i am sleepy and i am so afraid that i fall asleep while breastfeeding her or while rocking her in the swing..sigh..

i refuse to wake husband up because he is working the next day.tak sampai hati. although actually taking care of aleena all day almost 24 hours is more harder than going to the office but i just dont feel like it. beside i even feel bad if someone else take care of aleena while i took a bit of a nap or resting.

feel like a bad mother. when i shouldnt pun. i am also afraid of forgetting to change aleena diapers at night time, or forget to feed her on time or even worse overslept.alhamdullilah so far overslept is not written in my diary anymore. haha

every night i will observe the it is approaching 6 am i will be very happy because i know then, people will start to wakes up!pathetic i know. even though i am the one who take care of aleena during daytime as well but the existing of people around me make me feel comfortable and more confident. (owh is baby blues syndrome is still there?. perhaps)

seriously and when my husband wakes up, i feel energetic(even though i dindt sleep at all trough out the night), happier and relief. although he will be leaving to work in one hour time. and when my husband came back from work i am much better, ecstatic semacam.he is my source of energy, happiness and calmness.

everyone says this will pass soon. but soon is vary in every one. some people says within pantang then baby will change to be better, some says after a month some says after 3 months and some says 6 months or even a year. whatever it is i just cant wait for the baby to grow bigger because maybe then i will be more confident when handling her.

:-) owh i received such a big relief yesterday. alhamdullilah and insya allah i already found a helper to help my mum taking care of my baby aleena while im at work later on!.lega sangat.

now my worried falls down to how to produce more milk to do EBM stock for my baby girl aleena.if i fails then sigh formula la jawapannya,

Monday, December 12, 2011

my baby girl aleena

i think she thinks she a chipmunks who like to keep food in her cheeks and swallow whenever she needs. she likes to keep some milk in her mouth. i am scared that she might choke without me realizing it.sigh.

other than that,she is turning 1 month old this friday!alhamdullilah cant wait.i am so happy!

hoping she gained more weight during her first check up later on.

other than that still struggling with her sleeping routine.!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Penjagaan bayi baru lahir

this doesnt apply to everyone.only applies to baby Aleena.

when she came back from hospital, i noticed she sleep a lot. no wonder since she got jaundice. now that she is alhamdullillah better, she rarely sleep at night but sleep trough out the day time.

taking care of a baby is so stressful. i am bless to have my skilful mom around to help me with her. as my mum already have 6 children and 2 granddaughter she has been taking care off.
i know that taking care of a baby is a full time job, demanding and stressful, but i dont know it is thissSSsss hard! haha

what i am so afraid off is that i am too strong on her, what if i break her, of harm her or bruises her? yikes! scary. to dress her is one thing, to undo her clothes is another. scary merry!

head to toe:
i only bought small toiletries for her as i am afraid she will have sensitive skin like me. i grew up with SebaMed because not only i have eczema but i also a lactose intolerance baby, so any dairy product will cause my skin to irritate.
so far she is using head to toe J&J. as it is finishing i will continue to use the same thing.

and i use other J&J product as well such as baby talcum powder, lotion and baby oil. i used baby talcum powder for her joint and neck area as she sweat and develop rashes, and when i put the powder the rashes disappear alhamdullilah.
baby lotion for her skin and to massage her. twice daily after each bath. and baby oil to clean her ears and private part once in a while.

i dont use minyak yuyi cap limau, as my sister in law said , she once use it on my niece and they develop irritation on their skin and suggest minyak TYT. and been using it ever since. but still she develop colic and windy.but i think it does help her to pass wind. goody.

aleena loves people to bath and change her diapers. she dont cry. but after she had her bath i need to quickly put her on diaper because she will pee after each bath! owh notty girl. and most of the time, after each diaper change she will only then poo. she need new diaper to pass her bowel. expensive baby girl.

to clean her nose, i use cotton buds, and swirl it in her nose to take out her boogers. as for ears as well.

for every nappy change, if she poo i will wash her(during day time), previously i used too much of that wipes, i think she develop rashes. i was already freak out thought she is allergic to the diapers and i need to change to different brand. at night (since it is cold)i will use water spray to clean her buttock every time i change her diapers. alhamdullilah no more rashes.

i love to dress her in white. she look serene in white.:-)

Saturday, December 10, 2011

perubahan badan

there will be changes in your body when you started pregnant. if you dont keen on the changes, dont be pregnant. pregnancy changes everything. from day 1 until the day your baby is born there still be changes.

1.putting on weight! omg , macam i yang memang dah gemuk ni kan, bertambah la.nak turun balik memang susah. but we can try.

2.stretch marks! omg again.. mine was really hideous.regardless the usage of creams and lotions. they say people with darker skin tend to get stretch mark so visible because of the hyperpigmentation can occur.there i said it. it will be there forever. souvenir from my pregnancy.i dont really care but i wanna look pretty for mr hubby,sob sob

3.if you give birth naturally.there down there is a masterpiece as well. haha i dont know what kind of changes can be happening down there. (maybe i can update later haha) if you give birth trough czer- yeah the marks also will always be there. unless you have money to go for laser or cosmetic surgery.

4.breast. enlargement. my breast has always been is more bigger. even my nipple went trough some changes. change according to how your baby suckle your nipple.crazy! darken,on some spot! not evenly they say because of im using lulur to actually even out the skin colour back.

6.whole body has its own changes. inside we dont know much.but the outer part what visible is this.

if you dont feel all of this changes is worth it.dont have a baby!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Baby Blues/ PostPartum Depression

(keadaan selepas bersalin/semasa berpantang)

i will not elaborate on the fact of this baby blues and postpartum can google up if you want.
but im gonna write about my fact:

sebelum bersalin, when i read about this matter, i was ignorance, i thought to myself there is no way this things gonna happen to me. this must be rare. only certain people might have them after giving birth to a bundle of joy, our own baby that we waited and prepare and carried for the past 9 months.

but nOOoOOOoOo it actually will happen to everyone! everyone who actually give birth, the only different is the degree that it affect can be very bad to worse. baby blues and postpartum depression is actually a different things. everyone will have baby blues but not everyone will turn out to postpartum depression.

the first day at the hospital itself i started crying i cant sleep trough out the night, and when i did, it is already morning.i cant get up.i refuse to get up,i was in pain and confuse. seriously memang bingung semacam.i cry and cry. i ask the nurse for some pain killer and then i sms my mum telling her i was weak and so down. she said NO and asked me to be strong. and i did get up and mandi and asked for my baby.

but then when i went back home, things are a lot much worse. with all the problem arise i cant cope up. but i try my best but only can do with the help of my family and husband.

i noticed that:

1.i cant be left alone. i will be sad and lonely and will started to cry.

2.if i am tired, i will cry too and be so angry and restless

3.when in pain, especially nipple pain, i was so frustrated i feel like giving up breastfeeding and want to start formula

4.sorry to say , i know confinement has a lots of benefits, but all i can see i how depressing it is making me. i feel like sitting at home all the time is not healthy(dont we need some exercise to feel better) , food wise is okay since my mum cooked nice food and allowed me to eat healthy,i cant go out, when i am the type yang jenis tak pandai duduk diam, i feel gloomy and all i can do it counting the days for pantang to end. and by the time pantang ended there will be only a few days left for me to be with my baby aleena.

5.i cant seem to enjoy my baby for the first few weeks. why? because i was trying to get to know and learn her. even my husband commented on this. i am happy to be a mother but to take care of a baby is so demanding. imagine another life depend on you to survive. so yeah it is so tiring and frustrating at times when i dont know what she wants. but now alhamdullilah i even misses her when she asleep in her baby cot!

6.relationship with the husband. to tell you the truth i am very attach to mr husband. i really love spending time with him. manja. and most of the time i spent time with him 24 hours. and when aleena came along, the time is mostly spent for her, and when aleena is asleep i will sleep and when mr husband is asleep i will be awake. pergh and even a slight ignorance from mr husband will bring me to tears! owh baby blues.

7. i feel ugly! omg masa pregnant rasa diri lebih cantik? boleh? lepas bersalin my stomach is so ugly! stretch mark is so visible and black patches everywhere.they say the darker you are the easier you will get stretch mark because of pigmentation. yikes. so i am so afraid mr husband wont be attracted to me anymore.owh silly i use lulur hoping the hitamness will go away.

8.sleepless night is omg!

basically dont think much in order to feel better. with the help from others and remembrance of Allah s.w.t during your hard time insya allah will help you get trough it. i thought i was going to get crazy and i need tranquilizer stat.

and when i talked about this matter with my fellow cousin, they felt the same way! so baby blues is so common you have to prepared to face this and try to overcome it as soon as possible.

all the problem will eventually go away if you try hard to solve it and be realistic with it. it is just a test and remember as you become a parents the test begin and your responsibility will always be there forever. scary isnt it and i am only a mother for 23 days and insya allah counting.

how i overcome my baby blues:

1.never be alone unless you need a rest. i have my mother and sibling with me all the time. and my bestfriend always drop by to check on me. husband will take care of our baby from 9pm-12pm for me to get some sleep to get trough the night. alhamdullilah this helps a lot!

3.the nipple pain i just bear with it and took painkiller with guilt but at least i can still breastfeed my baby.

4.just face confinement is hoping it will end soon.

5.getting to know your baby is frustrating too but baby aleena is so adorable masya allah i am happy.

6.being ugly? beauty will fade away anyway!

7. time with husband find it as much as you can even as simple as 15 minutes alone will do.

8.sleepless night is common in parenthood so deal with it! haha

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Aqiqah Aleena

we had a very simple intimate aqiqah makan-makan day.and alhamdullilah it all went well and aleena got lots of present. :-)

Friday, December 2, 2011

baby update

on baby aleena jaundice, last blood test was done yesterday and it has went down to 181. so i am alhamdulillah so happy! i was almost literally jump when i see the result.went in to see the doctor, ask a few question and ask the lovely doctor toLink check her lungs as well. as i can hear some wheezing when she breath. but doctor says all okay.alhamdullilah.

its been 16 days. for the past 2 weeks the struggling that i face wont be achieved if without the help of my supportive and awesome husband, my supermom, and my siblings and of course my bestfriend. they all help me to keep sane and go trough this phase.
alhamdullilah i am getting better, the insanity is still there but slowly fading away. i am more relax and calm.

there is still nipple pain.especially on my right side. all i can do now is praying to Allah s.w.t for the pain to go away and i can breastfeed my baby aleena peacefully without the struggling with milk supply is okay i guess as aleena seem to get enough. i stop pumping now because i read it everywhere that i should only start pumping after baby is 1 month as i need to establish my feeding first. so i stop.

owh now only i realize baby aleena only have newborn baby cloth or must i say uniform! hahah sian my baby. anyway it doesnt fit her perfectly yet as she is still consider as petite. she is still wearing the petite baby cloth i bought for her as my mum says since baby is small it is not nice for her to wear all those baggy clothes. make her look selekeh. yes indeed. luckily i am not stubborn enough and listen to her.

she is alhamdullilah growing well.

owh but feeding during day time is funny. she is sleeping so deeply that whatever i do to wake her up every 2-3 hours for feeding is hard. i kiss her cuddle her play with her face poke her tickle her, she still asleep. talk loudly that doesnt work as well. i had to force feeding her until she actually agreed to latch on. but night time, haiyaa....

everyday,at night around 9 pm mr hubby will rock aleena in buaian for 2-3 hours so that i can get my sleep as for 12am-6am will be a hard one for me as aleena dont sleep much. if not i will be insane. sleepy and restless because i have to feed her almost every hour.hehe

okay that is all for now.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


we have slaughter a goat for aleena aqiqah on the 29.11.11 , 14 days after her delivery. at first want to do it within 7 days, but i am still struggling with my pain, breastfeeding, aleena jaundice and getting to know her. it is not easy.
so we did it on the 14 days, and will have the kenduri insya allah this sunday 4 december her grandparents from alor setar can only come on the date itself. so goody!

we will only have makan-makan. i am not planning on anything fancy. as i am so nervous aleena gonna be restless by the end of the day. nervous! and im pretty sure i will be damn tired too.

other than that is the same ol same ol condition where i am struggling with nipple pain on my right breast.alhamdullilah my left side is okay already. and trying to understand aleena. fighting my baby blues emotion. crying occasionally.but way much better.

aleena rezeki is masya allah marvelous. and today im going to the klinik kesihatan again for her blood test for bilirubin level. will see how, but insya allah i am pretty sure it is dropping as i can see it already.

having a baby is the hardest thing in life one can actually face.if you want extreme responsibility and challenge try to have a baby. the challenge start off from getting pregnant, during pregnancy, during labour, and it will last forever. not for a fainted heart.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


sumpah seriously saya sangat takot apabila sudah menjadi ibu ini.
~since anak saya jaundice sekarang, saya takot tak bagi susu cukup and baby dehydrated and level bilirubinnya naik lagi.

~saya takot anak saya tersedak susu and saya tak sedar

~tidur malam itu menakutkan tidak sedar anak memerlukan saya

~saya terhandle baby over atau kasar and dia ada injury yang saya tidak sedar

~takot tak boleh breastfeed sepenuhnya bila dah start kerja

~takot tak jumpa bibik nak jaga dia.

~saya takot dia sakit

~takot saya miss out dalam penjagaan dia seperti tukar lampin lambat dan sebagainya.


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

day 8 of life

tali pusat aleena sudah jatuh. ir is either mama to rough or it is the time. today i wanna go and do another blood test for aleena. hoping it is coming down and she will recover from jaundice soon.

to be a super mummy

i think ever since i came back from the hospital no proper rest yet to be accomplish.

1.1st day i am struggling in introducing myself to my baby since i only get to touch her after 12 freaking hours post delivery! i was so freaking upset. when the nurse actually send me her, the nurse left her and says sila breasfeed. wtf! seriously. i am so lucky i am not stupid and i did still try to breastfeed her. but seriously wtf.

2. 2nd day is still orientation day and i am lacking of milk.means my colostrum doesnt come out much, aleena is hungry i am so frustrated. breastfeed all the time. non-stop, nipple so sore i cry. my mum give aleena to my sister in law to breastfeed and i burst into tears. i started to pump.

3.3rd still struggling with producing more and more colostrum.and milk, aleena started to have jaundice. i felt like passing out. mr husband such a great help.

4. 4th day getting better. but i am so tired. trying to figure out aleena routine. sometimes i breastfeed her forever yet she still latch on and dont want to sleep. tired.
today i start my urut and then more milk is there.with extra help from food and drinks as well.

5.5th day understand her more a bit. milk is more. seem she is contented and happy. but still jaundice. so sad. still urut.

6.6th day the nurse from klinik kesihatan came in, refer her to the nearest Klinik kesihatan to do blood test.decided to go to HKL instead. and he level is 242.if 250 will be admitted. for me the value is almost to 250 why dont give her photo-therapy straight away.instead of waiting. im happy but worried. still need to monitor her on my own.burst into tears when aleena hand was prick by the nurse for the blood. i am so weak nowadays. last day of urut.

7.last night she slept well. wakes up twice. give her milk and she slept back.although at 1 am she wakes up and only sleep back at 3 am. tired. but i am satisfied of what i am doing to her.tomorrow i am going to bring aleena to nearest klinik kesihatan to check her level again. worried.

i am alhamdullilah with all the training of taking care of my nieces i know how to handle my baby.
Allah s.w.t has given me strength and health to take care of my baby even as early as this after my delivery during the weakest day of confinement. even though on the 2nd day morning at the hospital i actually breakdown and cry. because i am in pain, no help, clueless and confuse at the same up my mum and she told me i cant be weak. so i get up, had my shower and went to the nursery and force them to give me my baby. and yet they dont until 10am. cry.

but right now i am tired.tadi baby seem to refuse my nipple because i am training her with bottle as my mum is so scared she dont want bottle once i go back to work. i am so damn frustrated just now almost cry. keep pujuking her for almost 1 hour then only she latch on! omg!
so scary.

and i pump got only a little bit. i guess it is all from the stress just now. i was mad at my baby for refusing my nipple. so maybe insya allah later i will try to pump again and see how.

i am worry:
1.of my milk supply. i wanna fully breastfeed my baby until 2 years old. but it is so hard.
2.of her jaundice.i guess if she dont have jaundice i will be much worries.
3.of getting a helper for my mum to help with aleena wise.
5.what if i need to go away when i returned to work
6.if i am taking care of her the right way.

omg so overwhelming. sigh.

is all mother felt the same way?

if you want to be a mother you can no longer be selfish . no more me time. only baby time.

and i cant catch my nap time. today, i was so tired of last night, try to sleep this afternoon. but when i wake up, i felt so confuse and tired and groggy and weak that i dont want to sleep anymore because it took me a while to actually attend to aleena. i dont want that. i want to attend to her immediately cause she is crying. so worrying.
and nowadays is sleepless night because i am worry that i overslept and miss her feeding time, or i dindt hear her crying or anything.what if she tersedak and all. sigh.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Pengalaman bersalin

hari ini ada tarikh appointment dengan dokter Norlida at Al-Islam medical center kampung baru. last week dokter seluk kat bawah and says insya allah i will deliver my baby on this date. i was skeptical. come on how come doctor knows kan? hehe

arrive so early to avoid the jams. went in to give my appointment card and get a number 6001. haha 1st one to arrive. since my appointment is at 8.30am, i arrive at 7.30 am, park my car at the hospital and walked to mak wanjor nasi lemak(oh my last nasi lemak)

and then sharp at 8.30am the doctor called me in, scan the baby heart beat, check the position. all in. and then the seluk time. the opening is already 3 cm! owh no wonder last night i was cramping. and so the doctor told me that i need to be warded already. hehe. saya meminta izin untuk balik rumah dulu. of course the doctor says no. but i told her i came with only my wallet. so i want to go home and take my bags and my mummy. (biasalah dah besar pun bila sakit nak mak sendiri je kan)

called and sms hubby a few times. no answer sigh. called my mum told her im going into labour today but on the way home.everyone panicking cause im still driving. hahah i know 1st labour lambat. so drove home, had another shower, wash my hair again.get dress and my sister drove me back to the hospital.

mr husband is panicking, wanna take leave. (since he newly on the job, he cant have any leaves yet until confirmation,so if he take leave it is unpaid a no-no)told him no need as it will take forever to actually open until 10 cm. so he says okay.he will be on standby.
came by at lunch hour.

i only had mild contraction pain trough out until 5pm. then the nurses came with enema, went to the toilet , perform asar prayer and into the labour room. hubby came later as he went to the mosque and had early dinner(and his lunch too sian dia) before teman me.

into the labour room,a nurse check the opening. it is still 3 cm, called up the doctor and then the doctor ask to start induce. when the doctor came in the opening is 4cm and offered epidural.hesitate at first but accept it anyway. and i dont regret it. at least i am not in pain and the opening of 4cm to 10 cm is bearable.

at 11.00pm the nurses says i can push already as the opening is 10cm, i started to panic. hehe already remind my husband to hold my head and remind me to not angkat the punggung and pandang ke bawah masa push.alhamdullilah he remember and was amazingly guiding me trough out the labour.

he never leave my side. always help to reduce my pain. he even dare to look down there and told me he can see her head already. and when the baby come out and the doctor ask me if the baby is girl or boy i am confuse, but says girl eventually.

so far the whole labour process was okay for me. since i took epidural. and my family and husband all the time is there.

will update more later.

doktor jahit dalam.cara baru. so the next day i can walk already and at 6 days of pantang, i went to the hospital and walk like normally. owh my baby is jaundice.will tell the experience later on the next post.

i love my baby girl aleena so much.

or nik aleena nik mohamad farhan.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


BABY ALEENA 2.97 KG AT 11.20PM ON THE 16.11.11. normal labour with induce because tak bukak but with epidural :-) my roofey. will update more on the story once my life is no more tunggang langgang.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011

waiting for it to happen(labour)

my notes. things to buy for my baby.and now it is touch for my baby crib. mind the blue cover up. to prevent dust and those extra cushion and throw away, from my bed.hehe tumpang katil anak sebab semak sangat katil mak bapak dia bila nak tidur. hiasan semata.

i dont think it is coming anytime soon.but then i am feeling some pain and it is getting intense.
while waiting, since i am already on leave, i just do nothing. haha seriously.nothing. resting. but i am helping my mum taking care of my 2 nieces. tomorrow is my hospital kuala lumpur check up and the next day is my al-islam medical center check up. i go both. even though i am planning to give birth in al-islam medical center, i just prepare in case they cant accept me for whatever complication and they have to refer me to government hospital.i am ready.