Tuesday, November 29, 2011


we have slaughter a goat for aleena aqiqah on the 29.11.11 , 14 days after her delivery. at first want to do it within 7 days, but i am still struggling with my pain, breastfeeding, aleena jaundice and getting to know her. it is not easy.
so we did it on the 14 days, and will have the kenduri insya allah this sunday 4 december 2011.as her grandparents from alor setar can only come on the date itself. so goody!

we will only have makan-makan. i am not planning on anything fancy. as i am so nervous aleena gonna be restless by the end of the day. nervous! and im pretty sure i will be damn tired too.

other than that is the same ol same ol condition where i am struggling with nipple pain on my right breast.alhamdullilah my left side is okay already. and trying to understand aleena. fighting my baby blues emotion. crying occasionally.but way much better.

aleena rezeki is masya allah marvelous. and today im going to the klinik kesihatan again for her blood test for bilirubin level. will see how, but insya allah i am pretty sure it is dropping as i can see it already.

having a baby is the hardest thing in life one can actually face.if you want extreme responsibility and challenge try to have a baby. the challenge start off from getting pregnant, during pregnancy, during labour, and it will last forever. not for a fainted heart.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


sumpah seriously saya sangat takot apabila sudah menjadi ibu ini.
~since anak saya jaundice sekarang, saya takot tak bagi susu cukup and baby dehydrated and level bilirubinnya naik lagi.

~saya takot anak saya tersedak susu and saya tak sedar

~tidur malam itu menakutkan tidak sedar anak memerlukan saya

~saya terhandle baby over atau kasar and dia ada injury yang saya tidak sedar

~takot tak boleh breastfeed sepenuhnya bila dah start kerja

~takot tak jumpa bibik nak jaga dia.

~saya takot dia sakit

~takot saya miss out dalam penjagaan dia seperti tukar lampin lambat dan sebagainya.


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

day 8 of life

tali pusat aleena sudah jatuh. ir is either mama to rough or it is the time. today i wanna go and do another blood test for aleena. hoping it is coming down and she will recover from jaundice soon.

to be a super mummy

i think ever since i came back from the hospital no proper rest yet to be accomplish.

1.1st day i am struggling in introducing myself to my baby since i only get to touch her after 12 freaking hours post delivery! i was so freaking upset. when the nurse actually send me her, the nurse left her and says sila breasfeed. wtf! seriously. i am so lucky i am not stupid and i did still try to breastfeed her. but seriously wtf.

2. 2nd day is still orientation day and i am lacking of milk.means my colostrum doesnt come out much, aleena is hungry i am so frustrated. breastfeed all the time. non-stop, nipple so sore i cry. my mum give aleena to my sister in law to breastfeed and i burst into tears. i started to pump.

3.3rd still struggling with producing more and more colostrum.and milk, aleena started to have jaundice. i felt like passing out. mr husband such a great help.

4. 4th day getting better. but i am so tired. trying to figure out aleena routine. sometimes i breastfeed her forever yet she still latch on and dont want to sleep. tired.
today i start my urut and then more milk is there.with extra help from food and drinks as well.

5.5th day understand her more a bit. milk is more. seem she is contented and happy. but still jaundice. so sad. still urut.

6.6th day the nurse from klinik kesihatan came in, refer her to the nearest Klinik kesihatan to do blood test.decided to go to HKL instead. and he level is 242.if 250 will be admitted. for me the value is almost to 250 why dont give her photo-therapy straight away.instead of waiting. im happy but worried. still need to monitor her on my own.burst into tears when aleena hand was prick by the nurse for the blood. i am so weak nowadays. last day of urut.

7.last night she slept well. wakes up twice. give her milk and she slept back.although at 1 am she wakes up and only sleep back at 3 am. tired. but i am satisfied of what i am doing to her.tomorrow i am going to bring aleena to nearest klinik kesihatan to check her level again. worried.

i am alhamdullilah with all the training of taking care of my nieces i know how to handle my baby.
Allah s.w.t has given me strength and health to take care of my baby even as early as this after my delivery during the weakest day of confinement. even though on the 2nd day morning at the hospital i actually breakdown and cry. because i am in pain, no help, clueless and confuse at the same time.call up my mum and she told me i cant be weak. so i get up, had my shower and went to the nursery and force them to give me my baby. and yet they dont until 10am. cry.

but right now i am tired.tadi baby seem to refuse my nipple because i am training her with bottle as my mum is so scared she dont want bottle once i go back to work. i am so damn frustrated just now almost cry. keep pujuking her for almost 1 hour then only she latch on! omg!
so scary.

and i pump got only a little bit. i guess it is all from the stress just now. i was mad at my baby for refusing my nipple. so maybe insya allah later i will try to pump again and see how.

i am worry:
1.of my milk supply. i wanna fully breastfeed my baby until 2 years old. but it is so hard.
2.of her jaundice.i guess if she dont have jaundice i will be much better.no worries.
3.of getting a helper for my mum to help with aleena
4.money wise.
5.what if i need to go away when i returned to work
6.if i am taking care of her the right way.

omg so overwhelming. sigh.

is all mother felt the same way?

if you want to be a mother you can no longer be selfish . no more me time. only baby time.

and i cant catch my nap time. today, i was so tired of last night, try to sleep this afternoon. but when i wake up, i felt so confuse and tired and groggy and weak that i dont want to sleep anymore because it took me a while to actually attend to aleena. i dont want that. i want to attend to her immediately cause she is crying. so worrying.
and nowadays is sleepless night because i am worry that i overslept and miss her feeding time, or i dindt hear her crying or anything.what if she tersedak and all. sigh.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Pengalaman bersalin

hari ini ada tarikh appointment dengan dokter Norlida at Al-Islam medical center kampung baru. last week dokter seluk kat bawah and says insya allah i will deliver my baby on this date. i was skeptical. come on how come doctor knows kan? hehe

arrive so early to avoid the jams. went in to give my appointment card and get a number 6001. haha 1st one to arrive. since my appointment is at 8.30am, i arrive at 7.30 am, park my car at the hospital and walked to mak wanjor nasi lemak(oh my last nasi lemak)

and then sharp at 8.30am the doctor called me in, scan the baby heart beat, check the position. all in. and then the seluk time. the opening is already 3 cm! owh no wonder last night i was cramping. and so the doctor told me that i need to be warded already. hehe. saya meminta izin untuk balik rumah dulu. of course the doctor says no. but i told her i came with only my wallet. so i want to go home and take my bags and my mummy. (biasalah dah besar pun bila sakit nak mak sendiri je kan)

called and sms hubby a few times. no answer sigh. called my mum told her im going into labour today but on the way home.everyone panicking cause im still driving. hahah i know 1st labour lambat. so drove home, had another shower, wash my hair again.get dress and my sister drove me back to the hospital.

mr husband is panicking, wanna take leave. (since he newly on the job, he cant have any leaves yet until confirmation,so if he take leave it is unpaid leave.so a no-no)told him no need as it will take forever to actually open until 10 cm. so he says okay.he will be on standby.
came by at lunch hour.

i only had mild contraction pain trough out until 5pm. then the nurses came with enema, went to the toilet , perform asar prayer and into the labour room. hubby came later as he went to the mosque and had early dinner(and his lunch too sian dia) before teman me.

into the labour room,a nurse check the opening. it is still 3 cm, called up the doctor and then the doctor ask to start induce. when the doctor came in the opening is 4cm and offered epidural.hesitate at first but accept it anyway. and i dont regret it. at least i am not in pain and the opening of 4cm to 10 cm is bearable.

at 11.00pm the nurses says i can push already as the opening is 10cm, i started to panic. hehe already remind my husband to hold my head and remind me to not angkat the punggung and pandang ke bawah masa push.alhamdullilah he remember and was amazingly guiding me trough out the labour.

he never leave my side. always help to reduce my pain. he even dare to look down there and told me he can see her head already. and when the baby come out and the doctor ask me if the baby is girl or boy i am confuse, but says girl eventually.

so far the whole labour process was okay for me. since i took epidural. and my family and husband all the time is there.

will update more later.

doktor jahit dalam.cara baru. so the next day i can walk already and at 6 days of pantang, i went to the hospital and walk like normally. owh my baby is jaundice.will tell the experience later on the next post.

i love my baby girl aleena so much.

or nik aleena nik mohamad farhan.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


BABY ALEENA 2.97 KG AT 11.20PM ON THE 16.11.11. normal labour with induce because tak bukak but with epidural :-) my roofey. will update more on the story once my life is no more tunggang langgang.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011

waiting for it to happen(labour)

my notes. things to buy for my baby.and now it is complete.alhamdullilah.final touch for my baby crib. mind the blue cover up. to prevent dust and those extra cushion and throw away, from my bed.hehe tumpang katil anak sebab semak sangat katil mak bapak dia bila nak tidur. hiasan semata.

i dont think it is coming anytime soon.but then i am feeling some pain and it is getting intense.
while waiting, since i am already on leave, i just do nothing. haha seriously.nothing. resting. but i am helping my mum taking care of my 2 nieces. tomorrow is my hospital kuala lumpur check up and the next day is my al-islam medical center check up. i go both. even though i am planning to give birth in al-islam medical center, i just prepare in case they cant accept me for whatever complication and they have to refer me to government hospital.i am ready.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

update so far

alhamdullilah all baby stuff is ready except minyak yuyi.muahahha lupa. never mind gripe water ada.

1. baby always keraskan perut. tapi tak sakit pun, alhamdullilah.i like it very much.
2.sakit sengal dah ada kat vajayjay, and perut cramp macam nak period tu ada. but i think it is still long way to go as perut seem to be so atas.
3.i dah start cuti until bersalin. sebab dah tak larat nak pergi kerja.
4.makan lalu so no problem here.
5.masih confuse nak beranak di al-islam medical center or hospital kuala lumpur.
6.tidur malam masih lena, sekali sekala ada hari yang kencing banyak ada hari ok sahaja.depend how much caffein i take that day from soda water, coffee or tea.hehe
7.kaki masih tak ada bengkak alhamdullilah.mak saya kata dia pregnant pun kaki tak bengkak.tangan saya pun cincin kahwin semua muat lagi. no problem as my weight mostly is at my tummy and buttock area only.
8.alhamdullillah asthma saya under control so far and batuk jugak sudah banyakkkkk kurang compare 9 months ago.
9.enjoying this few last day as a pregnant women.
10. tengah merancang if rasa nak bersalin , drive sendiri ke hospital kah? because my mum will take care of my niece, husband will be working. hahaa. aiyaaa

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

1 year agoo

38th weeks check up!

i might be writing up till 40th weeks check up.haha since today doctor do a VE(vaginal examination) with hope i am dilating already! but nooOOOOOO.
none at all. she is so frustrated. wishing to admit me to the ward today!

dokter pula yang kecewa. kesian dia. i ok sahaja. although memang sangat excited nak jumpa my baby, but then if she is not ready to come out and play, stay inside where it is safer and warm.

owh the last entry i wrote that baby is 3.0kg! well well well typical MA (medical assistant) apparently she is not. she is only 2.6kg.(2.566 something something kg). i know already because when i ask the MA she dint even look back at the scanner. he just assuming. never mind, that is why i do 2 different check up at 2 different places.

other than that doctor says the amniotic fluid is okay, baby insya allah is okay. all we need to do now is wait.
wait shall we.
going out later to enjoy myself.hehe :-)

Monday, November 7, 2011

katil baby

this is baby side of the room. her own space.
i have settle the crib. bumper cot all iron and tie to the bed. bed sheet iron. only the pillow is without the pillowcase cause my auntie has yet to finish with it. the changing table is clearer now.
i hang up the diapers and baby stuff holder by the walls.

and will cover all this up with cloth so that there no dust.
preparing it everything,in case i will go into labor in this week or next week. who knows?

i am so looking forward to meet my baby. praying everything will go smoothly. insya allah.

mummy and baby bags

i manage to prepare the bag by this week. properly pack everything.insya allah i have pack everything the way i should.

for mummy bag: (the list was given by Hospital kuala lumpur during atenatal class)
1)kain batik 3 pasang
2)baju butang depan 2 pasang
3)maternity pad
4)nursing bra
5)stocking and sweater
6)towel and toiletries
7)i add skirt and blouse (pakaian balik dari hospital)/maxi dress should be good too.
8)telekung and sejadah
9)breast pad

for baby bag:
1)baju butang depan 3 helai
2)seluar 3 helai
3)napkin 1/2 dozen
4)pampers 1 pack
5)booties and mitten
7)baby wipes
8)receiving blanket
9)baby toiletries and towel
10)barut baby
11)i add baby wash cloth and handkerchief. and baby shoe haha

i separated baby and mummy bag as it is easier for us to grab the stuff.
owh there is also list for those stuff such as thermos, piring, pinggan, cawan, sudu etc. i dont know if i need to bring those.but if in case i need will ask my mum to bring it later instead.

other than that dont forget the important document such as:
1.the pink book!
2.both parents ic
3.bukti kahwin(sijil nikah or kad perakuan nikah)
4.guarantee letter.
(the list apply if you want to give birth in government hospital)

owh never ever bring bottle or pacifier. memang kena rampas ye di hospital kerajaan.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Happy 1st Anniversarry

today marked the 1st anniversary of me and mr hubby marriage life. we have awesome one year. marriage rawks big time. i love every part of it!
especially i have someone with me 24 hours that never annoyed me even though we see each other all the time. amazing, masya allah, alhamdullilah.
and now we gonna insya allah have a baby soon! weee! triple awesomeness.

thank you mr hubby for being such a great and wonderful husband trough out the year. please be more like this trough out our marriage!
i love you very much. always have always will!

what are we going to do to celebrate it? by celebrating HARI RAYA of course! hahah since it is today.

i dont mind, he make me happy everyday.

Friday, November 4, 2011