Tuesday, November 22, 2011

to be a super mummy

i think ever since i came back from the hospital no proper rest yet to be accomplish.

1.1st day i am struggling in introducing myself to my baby since i only get to touch her after 12 freaking hours post delivery! i was so freaking upset. when the nurse actually send me her, the nurse left her and says sila breasfeed. wtf! seriously. i am so lucky i am not stupid and i did still try to breastfeed her. but seriously wtf.

2. 2nd day is still orientation day and i am lacking of milk.means my colostrum doesnt come out much, aleena is hungry i am so frustrated. breastfeed all the time. non-stop, nipple so sore i cry. my mum give aleena to my sister in law to breastfeed and i burst into tears. i started to pump.

3.3rd still struggling with producing more and more colostrum.and milk, aleena started to have jaundice. i felt like passing out. mr husband such a great help.

4. 4th day getting better. but i am so tired. trying to figure out aleena routine. sometimes i breastfeed her forever yet she still latch on and dont want to sleep. tired.
today i start my urut and then more milk is there.with extra help from food and drinks as well.

5.5th day understand her more a bit. milk is more. seem she is contented and happy. but still jaundice. so sad. still urut.

6.6th day the nurse from klinik kesihatan came in, refer her to the nearest Klinik kesihatan to do blood test.decided to go to HKL instead. and he level is 242.if 250 will be admitted. for me the value is almost to 250 why dont give her photo-therapy straight away.instead of waiting. im happy but worried. still need to monitor her on my own.burst into tears when aleena hand was prick by the nurse for the blood. i am so weak nowadays. last day of urut.

7.last night she slept well. wakes up twice. give her milk and she slept back.although at 1 am she wakes up and only sleep back at 3 am. tired. but i am satisfied of what i am doing to her.tomorrow i am going to bring aleena to nearest klinik kesihatan to check her level again. worried.

i am alhamdullilah with all the training of taking care of my nieces i know how to handle my baby.
Allah s.w.t has given me strength and health to take care of my baby even as early as this after my delivery during the weakest day of confinement. even though on the 2nd day morning at the hospital i actually breakdown and cry. because i am in pain, no help, clueless and confuse at the same time.call up my mum and she told me i cant be weak. so i get up, had my shower and went to the nursery and force them to give me my baby. and yet they dont until 10am. cry.

but right now i am tired.tadi baby seem to refuse my nipple because i am training her with bottle as my mum is so scared she dont want bottle once i go back to work. i am so damn frustrated just now almost cry. keep pujuking her for almost 1 hour then only she latch on! omg!
so scary.

and i pump got only a little bit. i guess it is all from the stress just now. i was mad at my baby for refusing my nipple. so maybe insya allah later i will try to pump again and see how.

i am worry:
1.of my milk supply. i wanna fully breastfeed my baby until 2 years old. but it is so hard.
2.of her jaundice.i guess if she dont have jaundice i will be much better.no worries.
3.of getting a helper for my mum to help with aleena
4.money wise.
5.what if i need to go away when i returned to work
6.if i am taking care of her the right way.

omg so overwhelming. sigh.

is all mother felt the same way?

if you want to be a mother you can no longer be selfish . no more me time. only baby time.

and i cant catch my nap time. today, i was so tired of last night, try to sleep this afternoon. but when i wake up, i felt so confuse and tired and groggy and weak that i dont want to sleep anymore because it took me a while to actually attend to aleena. i dont want that. i want to attend to her immediately cause she is crying. so worrying.
and nowadays is sleepless night because i am worry that i overslept and miss her feeding time, or i dindt hear her crying or anything.what if she tersedak and all. sigh.


  1. Yes, the first few days adalah super exhausting! And same here, my nipples were sore tahap menangis rs mcm nk tercabut je.. but just hang in there, insyaAllah when baby learns to latch on better, it wont be painful anymore. Just to share from my experience, bile nipples sakit, just sapu some of your breastmilk, it'll do wonders! Medela purelan cream pon ok jugak, tp own breastmilk tetap terbaiklah effect dia, for me.

    As for ajar baby guna botol, i think its too soon! And will cause nipple confusion, where baby will reject mommy's nipples and prefer to be bottle fed je. This happened to me before, and nak ajar dia direct feed balik adelah serupa mcm nk pg berperang je susah. haha.

    Based on my reading (parenting forums/medical sites etc.), sumer cakap bile newborn just direct feed je, and pump for stocking up the breastmilk. And only start introducing bottle to baby bile dia dah almost 2months up: siang bottle + malam direct feed. So that nti bile dh keje, she'll get used to the routine.

    Pasal milk production pulak, dont worry too much. Instead, u shud stay positive sbb bile kita down, nti milk production will decrease. Keep direct feed + pump + motivate urself (fikir psl baby and watch baby's pics ms pump ke), insyaAllah this will increase ur milk production. And eat a balanced diet jugak. As for me, i find eating bayam and drinking hot horlicks very helpful, so maybe u can try! :)

    I wish u all the best! Nanti sedar2 je baby aleena dh besar dh, and u'll miss all these moments with her :D

  2. yup awl2 mmg super duper exhausted. diff person wif diff exp. For me, my baby prem at 32 weeks. Unable to latch on untill 3 weeks. Then i give him EBM thru syringe. Cry almost everyday. After 3 weeks he able to latch on but kena baring till pinggang sakit. N please jgn ajar botol. I ajar my bb after two months.

    Abt jaundice, my bb diagnsed wif jaundice since 3rd days of life until 60 days! Airmate i dh lebih sebaldi kot nangis hari2. Hari2 ulang alik hosp ambil darah. As a result my confinement carca marba. Admitted to ward day 5. Crying every second coz tgk bb juz pki pampers n the ward realy cold. For me the best medicine for jaundice mmg breastmilk. To increase the production simple je, increase the demand by directfeed or pump.

    Erm sore nipples tu normal. I pun juz apply breastmilk. the pain will resolve by itself after 1 weeks. Juz be patience k.

    One more thing i nk share, no matter how stress or busy, please take care ur confinement. Coz i nye confinement carca marba then after two months i developed post delivery problem. So sgt menyesal x jage confinement dulu. Mode sedih kena redo the confinement.....

    Gud luck...

  3. sya:omg such a good advice.thank u very much.find it very comforting that i am not alone in this matter. i will apply breastmilk nanti. i told my mum already it is too soon.will tell her again later.my mum yg paling paranoid. sbb nanti dia yg susah i understand. now i have started makan bayam. i guess that is why milk production is way better alhamdullilah. thanks for ur advice and support sya.
    masnita:owh dugaan u sangat kuat.baby pre mature semua.and yes everyone says we cannot cry but of course we will right. that is our baby. i mmg sedih gile. nurse siap halau i dari bilik amik darah tu and i suruh husband i masuk. overwhelming betul kan. and pressure from everyone is not helping too. thank u for ur advice. i masih jaga pantang. tapi tu la baby always com first kan