Monday, June 6, 2011

memang mengandung itu rezeki

when decided to get married, my husband and i were never put high hope on getting pregnant real soon. i was also worried that i might not be able to conceive. anyway, i want to be a mother. and i know i will be a really mad mother. hahah bugging the children constantly and everything. and im sure insya allah my husband is gonna be the one who soothes the children when i go mad, membebel to the children. i am garang after all.

in march 21, we get to know that i am pregnant. alhamdullilah i am bless and happy of course. straight away told my mum when i thought of keeping it as a secret first but i cant hahah. and then my best friend and everyone else.

trough out the early pregnancy i am so worried of whether i am doing everything right in taking care of the baby. i took a few types of medicine because i was really sick. and etc.
i felt like wanting to do ultrasound everyday just to check on my baby ,if the heart is still beating.
alhamdullilah so far it is. i am hoping my baby will be born safely and healthy.

i am thankful that Allah s.w.t granting me this opportunity to be a mother. a life long commitment. a rezeki from him. but trough out this pregnancy i was test by many things. firstly i am a very sick pregnant women! my allergies all decided to attack me this very moment, my sinusitis went horrible, my asthma. flu and cough that lasted until today , 4 months already.
and also bleeding and low lying placenta (at this moment i felt like a failure) i cant take care of my pregnancy well. seriously.
until last week when i had this spotting almost every week, went to see doctor and she said everything is fine. the placenta is going up. and the baby is healthy.

i had a friend, whom is pregnant for the second one, after the first one miscarriage 2 months ago. and this time, she had the same problem, bleeding . doctor give her a jab and hormone orally and aspirin for the womb to be strong and blood flow to the baby sufficient enough for its to grow.
but she got a news today that the baby doesnt grow. i felt for her. she wants this real bad. but maybe allah can give you rezeki. but at the same time allah can take it back.

i hope she will be strong.

ps:i am still craving for asam jeruk. yummies. food still taste blaaaaah to me.

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