okay aku tak tau nak translate loser dalam bahasa melayu. PENGALAH? wth.
sumpah aku rasa loser gila bila anak aku start sakit. ok, tak payah sakit teruk la, ada scratch kat muka pasal dia calar muka dia sendiri aku dah rasa sedih. sebab tak potong kuku dia elok-elok atau labat pakaikan sarung tangan dia. down gila hari tu aku potong kuku aleena, terpotong kulit jari dia sikit sampai berdarah! gila kau. gengam tangan dia lama takot dia pedih. sedih.
bila aleena nagis aku tak dapat pujuk, memang rasa psycho nak mampus. rasa macam mak yang tak memahami anak sendiri. sedangkan jaga dan bersama dia 24 jam. bila nak tukar pampers aleena tengok ada poops yang cam kering sikit, maknanya dia dah berak lama kan, perghh rasa kesian gila kat aleena, rasa mak yang tak competent. gila punya feeling.tahu?
aku jenis yang very independent and buat semua perkara nak laju dan cekap. tapi bila ada anak aku slow sikit. buat kerja rumah pun cam tunggang-langgang pasal susah skit nak balance between aleena and house chores.
bila baju aleena tak basuh lagi, booties and mitten habis pasal tahu tukar je, basuhnya malas. pakai washing machine jaaa punn.. tapi seriously minggu ni aku sibuk sejak nak pindah rumah kan. semua nak start from the bottom weh! dengan duit limited. gila. memang gila.aku headache gila. semua gila.tu pun rasa loser.paham , baju aleena tak basuh pun rasa loser.
tu belum lagi bab tak sterilize bottle aleena, stock susu tau pakai je, top up nya tidak. omg! ok belum cerita pasal pumping susu. cerita pasal trained aleena mau ngan orang lain. semua semua semua la..loserr ahhh aku ni
ni aleena cam selesema. tak ada la bersin, hingus meleleh-leleh.but i know its there. nafas bunyi kuat sedikit. bunyi cam berkahak. rasa down.loser.bodoh tak pandai jaga anak. faham? susah hati gila.aku mula la nak beli macam-macam gadget ni ha. siap nak beli machine nebulizer.aku pakai sama. so pagi tadi aku request kat husband nak bawak p pakar budak-budak nak suruh dia tengok breathing aleena. aku tak kira. so dia kata ok dia mintak GL secepat mungkin. aku rasa nak p bayar cash sahaja.ok GL tak boleh buat unless ada referral letter. bayar cash.lagi senang.
aku tau, ni semua pasal dok keluar masuk rumah, hujan panas berangin nak uruskan rumah. sedih,pilunya hatiikuuuuuuuuuuuu anakkuuuu sakitttt kerr. tapi dia feeding ok. tido ok. tak nagis or meragam, insya allah ok. just to be sure. sebab weekend ni nak berjalan jauh. nak p jemput pengasuh aleena. sigh. doakan aleena sihat.
seriously aku tak tau nak cerita macam mana. and sesuatu telah terjadi and im gonna move out. find a new house and restart my life.banyak nak pakai belanja bila dah ada anak, and sekarang kena pindah pulak. tak apa la.
so now sibuk cari rumah and tengok rumah. susah nak pilih kan...
hurm
pergh title tak boleh blah T_T
skills on handling baby is something that you cant acquire by reading books, or blogs or attending lecture. those are only for reference. but you need to applied accordingly to achieve great result( okay ayat seperti menulis journal).
if my brother doesnt have 2 adorable creature(their daughter), hehe, i would not actually know how to handle baby and kids.
although i dont basically take care of this two often, but basically as what i observe and do previously really do help in managing my baby aleena.
which is creature no 3. haha
one of the skills that i am developing is on HOW TO TAKE A BABY OUT. to malls, parks, and even grandma house.or in my case her great grandma house.
basically if i want to take my baby aleena out, the day is plan ahead. early morning i will express 3 oz of milk or use the frozen EBM as this will be use to feed aleena. i am not very keen on nursing in public nor having any skills on doing so. so i rather go out on weekdays because nursing room will be empty on those day. so if i cant feed her trough bottle i need to find a nursing room. but i have been nursing her a few times in public. nursing cover is damn hot. my baby actually perspire from it. so i dont like using them.
i am using my elder brother stroller, big and bulky but its free (awh kedekut ah saya), actually the reason is that i wanna buy the lightweight stroller from toy r us when she get older.meaning she can sit down already. i doubt we will be out that far too long with babies that i need a stroller for her to sleep in. nowadays yes. that is what i observe from my brother whenever she brought her daughter out, they wont be sitting down in the stroller anyway.one of the reason is that i am breastfeeding. so max time out is 3 hours. not more than that.beside i dont like going out much anyway except if i really need to shop or makan.
go out before lunch time. and eat first. by the time you are done with lunch, it is lunch time and you wont have to be in the crowd with the others. that is use to shop around. and when baby cry, find a spot for you to have a drink, i love having a slice of cake with some hot drink and chat with my mum(owh my companion for outing during weekdays, who else is not working haha), and ask for a cup of hot water for you to heat ebm in the bottle. and feed your baby while having a break.i found that asking for hot water around is easy when you show the baby bottle. had tried it at starbuck. and it works hehe
and go back before the baby is restless.and you too. it works well with me and i have gone out several times, klcc, the curve, jusco..you name it.
well will see when i start working.for sure daily life routine gonna change tremendously. but insya allah we will manage.
skills tukar pampers sudah menjadi, a few second sudah siap.
mandi pun sama..leh lambung lambung baby aleena lagi.hoho.
pakaikan baju..no problem ,pejam mata pun boleh.
owh saya sedikit kasar dalam handling my baby. but she seem okay with it :-)
owh i need to shop as her booties semua dah kecik T_T stokin tak cukup. so far semua mitten and booties dia tak hilang satu pun.semua cukup pasangan. clap clap rasa nak simpan semua untuk kenangan. tapi semak samun pula.will choose one yang dia paling pakai. awww baby aleena is growing up already. sob sob. owh rompers up to 5kg sudah ketat.tak berani nak pakaikan dia dah.nanti tak boleh bukak balik kena gunting pula.....mana nak simpan..nak buang sayang, nak simpan untuk future baby macam erkk tak payah kot.beli lain la, macam mahal sangat. tak adil pula.unless those baju yang mahal simpan la kan. tapi aleena mana ada baju yang macam mahallll gila nak simpan...hoho
ok sekarang aku dah lega sedikit la hal uruskan si baby aleena ni. macam dah terror sikit breastfeed dia, mandikan dah cekap, tukar pampers memerlukan beberapa saat sahaja, perangai dia paham la sikit sikit. cuma bab aku rasa dia ni tak pernah kenyang itu masih ada. so cara aku hilangkan panik setiap kali sebab aku rasa susu dah habis tapi dia masih nak hisap sebab tak kenyang atau memang suka menghisap ialah denga masukkan dalam buaian, buai laju-laju sampai dia tidur. sedih :-(. horror tak bunyi? tapi itu yang paling aku tak tau nak handle macam mana. jarang muka dia satisfied lepas minum susu. tapi dia tak menagis,siap boleh main. so aku assume kenyang kot. and everytime check up berat dia naik. so ok? tapi dia memang kurus aku rasa, and tembam tang muka sahaja. and compare dengan baby orang lain OMG memang anak aku kurus, tapi mak bapak gemuk T_T
malam dia menyusu lepas tu terus tidur.aku assume lagi dia kenyang. ASSUME sahaja ok! aku tak rasa dia kenyang tapi aku tak nak kasik lagi formula milk kat dia sampai aku give up. sebab sumpah aku sangat pemalas nak bancuh susu :-( again pemalas.selfish.
rutin kehidupan adalah sama. sehinggalah aku akan masuk kerja semula. masa untuk diri sendiri adalah tiada. mandi 5 minit tak sampai.itulah masa untuk diri sendiri. masa aku menaip and berfacebook adalah kerana sebelah tangan lagi aku dok buai anak. aku memang spesis tak leh duduk sahaja aku jadi gila. sebab tu masa berpantang aku gila sekejap. sebab selain uruskan anak aku tak buat ape. dah la tak paham kehendak baby aleena, assume sahaja.lepas tu tak boleh buat apa pasal tak sempat pun.so aku jadi gila.semua risau. sampaikan dapat basuh pinggan aku happy.paham? aneh kan? masa menyusu since sekarang aku menyusu secara baring, at least aku akan update khabar kawan-kawan melalui sms or aku call mereka,or aku akan membaca buku cerita songlap dari mak aku, sebab tak ada masa nak ke kedai buku pun, baca je la buku yang mak aku beli.(dah la aku tak suka baca novel bahasa inggeris pasal aku malas nak guna otak translate, gila kan? sedangkan paham je), or kacau suami di tempat kerja dengan melihat hp setiap 1 saat mengharapkan sms di balas(oh patheticnya aku) atau pun seperti biasa berfikir mana nak letak anak aku, kerja dah nak start ni bibik tak jumpa.adoi.
masalah dok fikir banyak perkara ini dari dulu, sebelum dapat anak tak pernah selesai. dulu dok fikir nak settlekan barangan anak. ni dah ada anak settlekan hal anak..hal sendiri tak pikir dah. risau susu tak cukup, risau botol and pump tak basuh and sterile betul, risau EBM tak cukup, risau EBM basi, risau letrik tak ada stock habis lah, risau baju anak tak basuh lagi, risau pampers cukup tak, kang kedai tu cuti sebulan nak beli pampers jenama apa pulak, risau tak tukar pampers kang ruam plak, risau makan betul tak satg anak sakit perut, risau rumah tunggang-langgang tengok mak dah tak ada mood mengemas, aku tak ada masa nak mengemas anak perlu 24 jam,tak ada siapa nak tolong, risau makanan rumah tak ada mak bapak nak makan apa, risau satg appointment hospital mereka siapa nak hantar , sebelum ni aku uruskan semua, risau gaji lepas ni nak kena potong kritikal allowance pasal cuti bersalin, macam mana perbelanjaan harian? OMG ni risau gila.
aku rasa macam aku buat semua menda nak mintak tolong orang aku malu segan. aku pemalu tau(yang kenal pasti rasa mahu muntah haha), aku uruskan baby aleena ALONE 99% 24 hours, bila orang complaint aleena tak mau kat orang lain, salah aku jugaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. adakah kalian menghulurkan tangan untuk membantu? ada tapi tak lama. aku pun risau aleena tak mau kat orang lain. mak aku tolong tapi bila aleena nagis dia panik pas kat aku balik. aku yang mandikan, tukar each pampers, susukan wajib la, basuh baju dia, lipat, beli barang dia. etc. ada kau tolong? tu belum kerja lain. tak mau fikir.aku tak perfect langsung. selagi aku kena uruskan aleena macam ni, macam mana nak buat kerja rumah yang lain? aleena kena buai all the time if not dia tak tidur(aku assume pasal dia tak kenyang sangat), so tak boleh tinggal. dapur bersepah, bilik tak tersapu, baju tak terbasuh, tak termasak untuk suami, baju tak iron apa kejadah semua aku tak boleh buat!sampai aku sembelit kengkadang sebab aku kena tahan berak, tak boleh tinggal aleena sorang diri, takot dia terjeluak susu, tersedak apa-apa jadi, salah siapa? aku jugaaaa, waktu ni orang tak nampak yang sebelum ni kau tip top jaga dia, wangi sepanjang masa.sigh.
aku nak potong rambut, tak terpotong juga. by the time ada masa, rambut aku cecah lantai dah kot.baju tak bersalin, nak shopping time bila? online takot saiz tak kena pasal biasanya baju mesti lekat kat punggung aku yang besar ini.stress. setiap kali keluar rasa macam bibik.
sebab biasanya sekarang aleena tidur dengan aku sebab lepas breastfeed aku dah tak ada energy nak angkat dia, aku pun pitam sama, semalam aku tak tahan sangat suruh hubby buai aleena, bila dia datang bawak kat aku cakap aleena lapar , aku bangun sumpah blur nak mampus ,penat gilaaaa, rasa nak pengsan and pitam. aku blank sekejap. pastuh baru ok.badan exhausted gila bila tak ada bantuan sangat ni.
aku nak kena buat stock ebm aleena, tapi time bila? masa dia tidur kena buai all the time, kalau yang dia tidur atas katil tak lama setengah jam ja, nak basuh bottle and pump lagi?, mintak tolong orang confirm sepatutnya dia boleh tidur dalam buai lagi 2 jam, setengah jam je aku mintak tolong buai dah terbangun. tahu nape? kesungguhan jaga anak itu hanya ada pada ibu-ibu sendiri tidak pada orang lain. dah tu nak buat power pumping time bila? so aku bersyukur je bila boleh buat stock 3 oz je sehari.kalau aku gagal fully breastfeed, bukan salah aku seorang.
and aku takot moment ni aku tak hayati sepenuhnya.nanti dia dah besar aku akan rasa miss out masa dia kecik ni, sebab aku terlalu berkejar -kejar , untuk buat macam-macam.rugi.
Aleena is 5 kg! yeah congrats mama.
she is alhamdullilah healthy and growing up accordingly to the chart. but, if she is not, i dont mind uch as long as she is healthy and active.
i dont put so much hope and dream for my aleena, i wanna her to grow up just the way she are. tak kisah la.but im gonna guide her all my best and make sure she make a right decision along the way. boleh?
whatever it is i am just glad she is gaining weight and healthy.
semalam call tanya pasal IUD ingat lama nak dapatkan appointment. rupanya terus dapat buat hari ni. wow. rupanya memang tak ada patient sangat. and kebetulan hari ini memang hari dokter datang kan.
buat dekat ampang. tempat dia atas shop lot.memang tak sangka la. sampai sahaja terus register. dia tanya beberapa soalan and buka buku rekod. lepas tu dia amik signature and tunggu sampai dokter datang.
and sampai dokter, terus dia panggil. memang sekejap sangat prosesnya. sakit sikit je cam semut gigit and sengal sikit lepas tu. other than that okay sahaja.nasib pakai skirt senang sikit, bukak panties sahaja. and then bayar rm 95. walaweh, kat private rm 300 kot. sini implanon rm 3oo.
the reason i buat family planning is that i was very sick during my pregnancy. i had a very bad asthma trough out my pregnancy. coughing and all. and i had to see doctor frequently and many visit to emergency department. and so that is why i decided to lay back first. it is really tiring and painful. that is my reason. health.
:-)
yay dah lega..boleh la honeymoon :-)
gonna wear them tomorrow insya allah. i read to much bad review on implanon, so i decided to wear this instead.aww scary
okay ever since i have a baby , i dont think much of myself.all i can think off is her.
makan dah tak puas sebab kena makan cepat cepat takot anak terjaga, or rasa bersalah orang lain jagakan masa kau makan.sebab tu makan tak pernah kenyang walaupun nasi sepinggan penuh sebab tak sempat merasa, telan je, suap telan suap telan suap telan.gigit sekali je hahah
mandi macam tak bersih sebab kau mandi kambing.sabun apa yang patut, dah tak sempat sental. kalau husband jaga baru aku lulur over sikit. mandi setiap hari adalah sabun , basuh muka and berus gigi secepat mungkin. kadang-kadang if mandi, anak tak ada orang jaga aku selalu tutup air dengar ada dia nagis tak.
tidur? apa itu? dah lama tak tidur betul. selalu terjaga every 1 hour.paling lama pernah tidur is 2 hours nowadays.but im okay. cuma ever since breastfeed sambil baring ni, tulang belakang sakit sedikit pasal mengiring lama kan and ruang tak banyak untuk tidur and mengeliat. kalau aleena tidur bersama dia tidur 2 jam, dalam baby cot sejam so aku kesian kat dia.so biarlah mama mengalah gittew.
makanan dan minuman sudah tidak boleh hentam kromo lagi kerana menyusu. faham.
owh silap topic,
aku sekarang tengah confuse, nak kekal kerja di government atau keluar ke private. gaji wise memang beza la. beribu.okay fine rm2000. beribu la tu kan.
tapi cuti tahunan kurang jadi 16hari. before 25 hari.
kerja extra half day.sigh.
tapi, tak yah oncall, tak yah mengadap muka boss, tak yah mengadap muka patient ramai sangat, tak payah buat extra kerja bawah kementerian lain iaitu bagi ubat dekat penagih dadah(menci),tak payah buat DMTAC,
tapi kerja private ni tak secure sangat.itu je la kan. and kalau kerja government senang nak bela anak sebab cuti banyak skit and boss sekarang flexible aku rasa.
susah hati.
so far i am still fully breastfeed. although the urge of giving her some formula to make her feel full, and sleep longer is there. i dont think she had enough with my milk. last time it is so watery, the hind milk part is more than the foremilk. so i was so devastated as aleena seem not satisfied every time i wean her off my nipple.i guess that is why she always hang on to my breast for long hours. now i have to breastfeed her non-stop from 5pm until 9pm. i dont know why she need that. and after that every 2 hours
and i am doing anything i can to make her full. so now i am consuming alfafa from GNC and it seem to be working. alhamdullilah. i am also on multivitamin. and occasionally taking some domperidone to increase my milk production desperately. as i need to make my stock if i ever want to fully breastfeed my aleena. i am assuming if i at least manage to stock 3 oz everyday from now, and by the time i get back to work i will be having some stock already.like maybe +- 30 bottles of 3 oz. which is sufficient enough as they say when we pump at work we will be getting more to cover daily supply.insya allah.
but i will be providing some ISOMIL for emergency in case what i left at the nursery is not enough.
as for her personality, she is a girl but behave like a boy. haha. my dad also think she look and behave like a boy. i think she behave like me. that is why we fight everyday. my husband think the same too.
will see how it goes. since i change aleena diapers every 3 hours and she poo in a brand new diapers everytime! i need a cheap one. hehe. so hopefully this will do her good.
rm23 for 80 pieces and my parents use this for my brother masa baby from same shop. hehe so okay sahaja budak itu.
last weekend we went back to alor setar for baby aleena to see her grandparents. i was dead nervous to travel with her.like seriously what if ........ and the list goes on and on.
i end up gooogling lots of information and even traveling list for baby which is a big help.
as you can see in the picture aleena slept peacefully and only wakes up for milk and diaper changing.she loves sleeping in the car. asal naik kereta tidur, berhenti je menagis. itu yang bapak dia panic masa mama dia g kencing kat perhentian hahaha.
i think she had a good time there as everyone is paying so much attention to her. macam princess la kan.
and her stuff penuh satu kereta, which include her buaian! haha
