moron

Aku stress.

From a mother to a mother.
How can you ever judge another mother?

Yes, my daughter is often sick. especially after
she is in the nursery. Dont you think i take all the
precaution i can? i fully breastfeed my baby for heaven sake.
That is my biggest prevention.

What can i do that she cry often? i dont understand what she wants.
She cry when she dindt get her way,which baby doesnt?
and yes because of this i refuse to have another baby at this moment.

i am piss off right now.

i am not as fortunate as you.
so quick whining bout your pitiful life of being a full time mother with no career whatsoever and suck it up
be thankful you moron

Sayangku Aleena

Over the weekend seriously tak buat apa pun.
Just stay at home for the long weekend.
so sad right.

anyway just posting pictures of my dearest Aleena.
Somebody mention to me that i adore and love aleena deeply. yes sangat. anak kot.
sayang ketat ketat.

Wordless wednesday

Sleeping patten

Aleena oooOOOoOih Aleena

Tidur itu penting tak?
As for me i need to sleep but if my sleep is interupted i am okay with it
Legalah bila jadi mak ni memang la tidur tu terganggu.
Dan tidur itu dah terganggu selama lebih 2 tahun.
Dari start mengandung sehinggalah sekarang.

Masa dalam pantang kan, aku sangat tak suka.satu pergerakan restricted. Kedua sebab
baru nak biasakan diri dengan anak, so schedule hidup tunggang-langgang.
Nak established breastfeeding lagi.
Aku stress gila, luckily my mom realize that and force my bff to come and visit me often.
Rasa macam stress gila sebab baru nak belajar jaga anak kan.

Malam memang paling worse. sebab kau sorang-sorang, nak tidurkan anak.kau sendiri ngantuk.
Nak kacau suami kesian dia kerja besoknya.
Luckily ada buaian, at least dari kol 10 malam sampai 12 malam suami buai anak bagi aku tidur.

and malam has been very troublesome for me.
sebab i want aleena to sleep trough the night so that bila dia awake pagi dia ceria and cergas.
dulu masa aleena ada pengasuh di rumah tak apa lah i can leave her to continue sleeping
but as for now since i had to sent her to the nursery memang kalau malam dia tidur tak cukup dia cranky pagi.

Okay aleena sleep from 7.30 pm to morning. Morning means bila mama bangun dia bangun. Since dia guna my nipple as pacifier, memang gitulah.
anyway at least dia lepas juga la nipple aku.
so in between dia memang akan dream feed. many times. as frequent as hourly. and dulu memang aku weng la bila bangun pagi,
and usually sampai office first things aku minum kopi dulu.

memang la tak tidur lena sekarang. tambah plak kalau tak sihat.lagi la weh.
aleena ni frequently demam. make me feel like a failure mother. hence i blame it on the nursery bahahaha
pedulik. sebab hantar nursery anak aku selalu sakit. settle.so aku rasa kurang sikir burden mak tak guna tu.

Baru-baru ni demam 5 hari. tak tau apa punca. but i blame it on myself sebab selalu sakit and aku makan
habbatus sauda high dose sikit. Panas kan. Demam la budak tu. Stop alhamdulilah terus ok.

anyway, selesai aku breastfeeding. aku nak cuti setahun before ada anak lagi. aku nak rehat sepuasnya.

sebab bila ada anak lagi this cycle continue people!

Ni kes malam tadi aleena bangun banyak kali, Aleena oi bila hang dah besaq baca ni baru hang tau sian mak hang!

Time

When you are a mother, did you realized your time is so crutial
that it is wasnt enough the 24 hours a day?
yes..

Memang tak sempat kan nak buat apa.
but today i would like to talk about the ME time.

ME ME ME ME

duh.. dont say we are not a good mother cause we need a
ME time.

let me rant ok.

Everyday life is really hectic. Cause you are managing many people at once.
You dont manage yourself but your children and husband too.
You are managing your household.
Gah...

time is not enough.

Paling best bangun pagi nak buang air tak kiralah besar ke kecik,
anak merengek nak bermanja. Hah masuklah sekali dalam bilik air.

Dulu aku boleh masak lagi, sekarang tak boleh anak tagging kat kaki minta
dukung.

Sejak urat putus hari tu sampai bedridden sekejap, aku tak sanggup dah overdo myself.
no more supermommy!.

Rumah aku sumpah tunggang langgang. Aku dah kurang pedulik. Sumpah stress tengok tapi aku tak larat nak exert myself
lagi.

Peti ais aku kosong takde mende nak masak.
sumpah stress juga.
Bila nak makan luar aku tak tau nak makan apa.
Nasi goreng hari-hari sangat membunuh dan memuakkan.

Stress.

Stress paham?

Tapi bestnya dapat melepak bermanja dengan Aleena lama-lama tanpa perlu masak adalah heaven.

Walaupun perasaan nak anak lagi membuak-buak, tapi it is a NO NO right now kerana i wanna give
full attention to aleena. satg mengandung sakit takleh layan aleena masa dia tengah
crave for attention sekarang lagi haru.
Give all the love until she understand and can talk full sentences first.
Senang nak nasihat and explain this and that.
For now tak payah la.
Memang aku tak mampu physically and mentally.
Biarlah anak gap jauh pun.

government or private sector.

Susah nak take the leap to improve my career.
terlalu rasa comfortable in government sector.
Seriously.
Gaji banyak. walaupun lagi banyak la pergi private.
tapi dia comfort of being comfirm kerja kau ni ada selamanya.
inysa allah.
Tapi nak kaya tak dapatlah.
aku pun terfikir if ever aku ada gut nak bukak my own
pharmacy business.
barulah kaya raya.
boleh travel there and here.
first class.
and boleh hantar anak belajar good school.
and takyah risau anak kena amik ptptn or loan.
or need scholarship.

banyak offer kerja.
i should take now.
nanti in the future,banyak budak junior ni yang amik tempat.
habislah.
stuck in government forever and menyesal.

People says i shall maintain working in government because
my husband is in private sector.
kerja tak stabil.
sigh.




so i am confuse.

i really wanna challenge myself.
at the same time i dont think bringing up kids can allow me to do so.
if i had to choose between career and my kids.
of course i will choose my family instead.
just that i wanna give the best.

so yeah money is crutial.

but anyway, currently i dont have the guts to do so yet.

stay.

Aleena

My dear Little Princess Aleena

She is now 1 Years and 9 months.
She has grown into masya allah a beautiful girl.
I am truly thankful and bless for her.

Since she masuk nursery, she is often sick. On and off.
Flu there and here. Fever but always alhamdullilah resolves quickly.

But last week she had a 5 days fever. Not a high grade one.
With no flu or cough. So decided to just sponge and give her Supp PcM and voltaren.
Alhadmullilah she already recovered. And im enjoying her while she is healthy.

I do notice that aleena is easily disturb and cry. Often because she dindt
get what she wants or her way.
Or because somebody disturb her. For example quarell over a toys or something.
Thus she will continue this to her sleep as well.
So she will on and off sleep and awaken crying.
Tiring for her and us as a parents too.

So we need to keep her happy the night before.
So yeah. problem ni.
Actually if us the parents is not around she will be ok.
play all day in nursery.
no problem at all.\
i guess it is a common problem la.
All toddlers wants attention. so they cry, scream and merengek all day long.
gah

Mini steamboat and grill

My PIL came in last weekend.
Hantar my sis in law masuk TESL UKM.
so we decided to have a steamboat and grilled for fun
cause my Bro in law came as well.

Awesome food. Awesome time.

Semua bahan beli dekat JUsco Au2
they have the best marinated beef ever. seriously and they are cheap too.

New Car

This year macam wow so many big event happens.
Which will only be summarized once we reach december ya?
As for now i add on a new thing.
new commitment in life.

A new car:-)
Yay.

Naik pangkat, tukar kereta.
nanti naik pangkat lagi, tukar lagi.
Pengsan.

Bought the new honda civic 2.0.
Impromptu decision.
before raya.
in a week only, poof. new car. gila.

:-) but suka sangat sebab aku dan suami kan macam besaq gila.
so kereta myvi tu tak releven lagi.
so yeah. what a busy 2013 it is.

Dilema ibu bekerja

Dilema bekerja atau tidak.
memang menjaga anak sepenuhnya di rumah adalah
impian semua ibu didunia.
Gila kau hati ni tak tenteram bagi sesiapa
pun jaga.
Tambah aku ni hantar nursery selepas Aleena
dijaga sepupu aku selama ni.
Balik amik anak tengok dia terpingga-pingga sorang-sorang.
Tak de orang la nak bagi perhatian lebih dekat anak kau.
Ramai lagi kot budak lain nursery nak jaga.
Cuma seronok bila amik anak di nursery dia akan melompat kegembiraan
nampak kau macam dah tak jumpa bertahun.
Sedih dan terharu bercampur baur.
Kesian aleena dan semua anak-anak yang dihantar ke taska.
Tapi aleena macam happy juga di taska sebab ramai
budak boleh main sama-sama. Dia memang jenis friendly suka main.
Aku anggap la macam hantar playschool.
Downside nya adalah dia selalu subahanallah demam dan sakit.
Aku pasrah.
Sedih tengok dia selesema sebulan tak baik.
Kudis dan parut sana sini. Nyamuk gigit, dia garu, luka, kuman dan tinggal parut.
sedih.

banyak sedih juga jadi mak yang bekerja ni.
hati selalu terguris tengok anak macam tu.
hantar pagi pukul 6.45 am, nursery baru buka pintu.
setiap hari satu guris. Kau bayangkan bertahun-tahun.
lama-lama hati aku numb. T_T
Anak tu priority. Sebab tak mampu nak hidup senang dan mewah
jadi aku kena kerja juga. Kalau harap gaji suami je kena
dok kampung.hehe. tapi aku nak dok kl. family semua sini.
nak makan sedap dan beli pelbagai mainan dan baju mahal untuk anak.
Sebab aku percaya bagi yang terbaik untuk anak, insya allah
selamanya dia akan dapat yang terbaik dalam hidupnya.
Itu pendapat dan kepercayaan aku.
Orang lain tak tau la.

jadi cuti aku dari 25 hari, sekarang bulan September tinggal 5 hari.
Sebab bila anak demam aku akan cuti.
Seminggu pun pedulik.
2 tahun terambil cuti lebih. Kena potong gaji, I dont really care cause,
prinsip aku, anak tu paling penting. Tapi sebab aku kena kerja juga,
so amik la cuti bila anak tak sihat. Dalam setahun 365 hari kalau kena potong gaji
3-4 hari tu apa sangat lah.
kacau perjalanan karier katanya oleh Human resource.
aku jawab:
Bila masa plak aku keje untuk career. aku keje untuk dapat
pahala dan duit lebey nak belanja hidup dan anak.
jadi career kacau, rekod tak cantik pun xpe.
not my priority.
itu akulah..tak tau orang lain.
setiap kali anak demam walau aku takot sikit lah nak amik
cuti sebab takot orang kena tanggung tugas aku dan boss bengkek.
Aku remind myself of my priority list.
and what is career and money if aleena makin sakit?
aleena itu penting.
:-)

so aku dah ok sekarang. cuti habis pun pedulik. janji aku bahagia.


dilema aku lagi.
bila balik kerja aku jalan laju gila.
Sumpah kalau masuk pertandingan walkathon aku menang sampai olimpik.
Laju weh.
Mind you aku ada asthma.
so bila jalan laju, sampai kereta aku mengah gila.
Kalau aku ni berkulit putih, muka aku masa tu biru.
tapi sebab kulit aku gelap, tak nampak apa la.
Tambah asthma aku tak control sekarang.

OWh, sebab aku jalan laju ialah aku tak mau
biar aleena tunggu aku lama nak jemput dia di nursery.
Time with her during weekdays is very priceless.
sat ja boleh spent time dengan dia.
by 7,30pm dia dah tidur. tu bedtime dia.
memang tetiap malam waktu tu dia dah meroyan nak tidur.
so aku memang susah nak keluar malam.

uish, monday blues memang gini. rindu anak tahap gaban.
Sorry to say la, bapak ayah papa semua tak akan rasa
apa yang mommies semua rasakan.
pure love i tell you.
Pure love.