Tuesday, October 2, 2012


I am so emotional last night, as for the first time i witness this in front of my eyes. My baby aleena crawl fastly and went straight to my maid and just sit there with her while i have been calling and begging her to come to me. this is sudden as my maid just came out from her room. i am hurt. dramatic much? yes it is. i am so sad. okay?
i have been doing all i can to be close to aleena but when this happen i am hurt. rasa macam ada slash cut on my heart. masa aleena bermanja dengan my hubby of course i dont mind but when it come to anyone else i mind.
i do understand that aleena spent most of her awake time with her. and only 2 and half freaking hours awaken with me!! because im working and by the time im home i need to cook and wash and prepare her milk for tomorrow morning. that took at least an hour. Aleena sleeping time is 7.30 pm. try to make her sleep later? cannot as she will cry anxiously, if i dont breastfeed her to sleep.
ini i fully breastfeed her, imagine if not. she might be sleeping with my maid instead HUAargGGGGGAGGGHHHH raksaksa hijau keluar sebab bengang. arghHHHhhHHHhHHH
talk to my husband he said that dont worry as aleena grow older she will know who is the mother and her care taker. in the end when she really understand it is easy for me to be close to her again. as for now she will be close to someone who always there when she is awake while im away at work for almot 10 freaking hours! dead!
over the weekend i was there and hold aleena for 24 hours. i bathed clean feed talk play walk whatever with her, i dont let her go except if i cook. that is why i dont like cooking on weekend cause i wanna spent more time with her. sigh cry cry cry cry.
i miss my baby girl aleena.
Promise myself when she all grown up im gonna be as cloe to her as I am now to my mom or even  more.

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