progression

aku dah nak start kerja next week. by rabu dah mula kerja. sumpah depress. malas nak kerja. paling aku malas ialah meninggalkan anak aku. ish dah la sebelum ni jaga dia 24 jam tak pernah tinggal. ni nak tinggal almost 10 hours per day. which the 10 hours is the most time she will be awake and needed someone. to feed, bathed and played with. sakit hati bila fikir.

ni lagi seminggu nak masuk kerja i had to leave her. instead of spending time with her. i need to trained her with her pengasuh. sigh. sakit jiwa tapi untuk kebaikkan juga.alhamdullilah her pengasuh so far is good with her.

bila dia dengan pengasuh dia ok. pagi masih main sembang-sembang. but trough out sampai nak petang dia nak restless. senyap sikit. bila mama dia amik dia, hah sebek muka meraung terus. sedih gila. lepas tu tak boleh lepas dia dah. nak menyusu nak di pangku je. sebelum ni mana suka dipangku. kesian sangat.again i wish im a full time mother.

aleena sekarang suka sembang sangat. happy sampai menjerit-jerit. masih merengek sahaja instead of menagis. tak suka meniarap langsung,suka tidur mengiring.

i am pumping milk hard nowadays, hoping the milk supply will lasted forever and sufficient enough for her.each pumping max is only 6 oz, and now it will only get to 5 oz. max. buatlah macam mana pun. sigh.so i really need to pump 3 x a day at work and add another one at home. sigh sigh sigh.

since pindah rumah baru ni, i have been cooking almost 3 times a day. for breakfast lunch and dinner. perhaps i should add random picture of dishes that i cook as well. memang simple sahaja. masak campaq campaq. mau tengok ka.