ANAK SAKIT

terus terang cakap masa anak demam dan sakit adalah paling depress dalam hidup.
Aleena sejak masuk nursery once a month subahanallah jatuh sakit.
Alhamdulillah nothing major lepas 3 hari kebah dan sihat. syukur.

Tapi itulah, susah hati dibuatnya.
Bila demam aku rasa gloomynya jiwa dan suasana. No matter how i try to cheer up.
but i always try to make her happy so that she will recovered fast.

she is turning 2 this month!
tapi there will be no celebration or whatsoever cause she wont understand yet.
tunggulah...

 

rindu masa dulu

Masa Lalu.

Aku macam rindu masa lalu.
setengah dari itu la. Ada yang tak dirindui. Benci ada.
Kadang-kadang kan, rasa macam what if tu sentiasa berlegar di kepala.
Tapi perkara yang lepas tu jangan dikenang.

But perkara lepas yang terjadi tulah makes what i am now.
A very strong women. My experience from the past sangat valuable.
Untuk hati dan perasaan.

rindu bebas masa belajar dulu.
rindu aku yang dulu..

interior rumah

I love interior designing.

But with limited money and time plus space it is just a dream.
however jangan kata nak menghias rumah cantik, nak bagi kemas and bersih pun
tertunggang terbalik dah hidup seharian.

I guess being a full time working mother and with a toddler is very impossible.
Plus ada husband yang ada banyak barang(coz dia ada business cetak baju) memang suicidal mission.

tried my best tapi tak ter-catch up.
busy.

Mana nak buat laundry,masak, uruskan anak. memang tak mampu.

but i love going trough all those interior design picture in PINTEREST. meroyan tengok.

as for now as long as rumah bersih sudah la ya?

masalah pulak duduk rumah ground floor ni, tempat sampah depan rumah,
walaupun tertutup memang lalat tu ada. Lipas. Lipan.Tikus pun satu hal tapi lama dah tak nampak.

so aku pasrah la bila anak tonggang bekas-bekas mainan dia.
aku sekarang kalau sapu sampah ada mainan dia yang kecik-kecik aku malas dah kutip.
sapu masuk tong sampah sekalian alam. nasib la.

so if nak beli mainan skang beli yang besar sahaja.

sigh...tunggu anak dah besaq la baru rumah nak elok

The end of my breastfeeding journey

Tamatlah sudah episode breastfeeding journey saya.

insya allah aleena is turning 2 years old next month on the 16.11.2013.
But i decided to stop pumping already today.
My stock can supply aleena for another week then she will be fully on formula during daytime.
but at home she will be either direct feed of bottle fed.

WOW is what i can say for the fact i manage to face 3 or more of pumping session.
washing all those breastpump and bottle parts and sterilze them.
those ups and down of the stocks.
sigh! phewwh im glad that it is over and alhamdulillah aleena boleh terima formula.

she is drinking MAMIL ALL N ONE.

i am glad and thankful that Allah s.w.t give me the opportunity to actually breastfed her for so long.
that she can get all the benefit from breastmilk.
alhamdullilah..

to those mother's to be. try your very best to breastfeed your baby.
you have to be very determined and patience in order to actually do it.
really lots of hardwork especially for the working mothers.

sleepless night, aching body, sore nipple,clinginess, crankiness, wet bra and clothes, crying over melt stock,
over spill milk!, forgot to keep freshly pump milk in fridge, etc etc etc.
my god im glad that is over for now.

will i re-do everything for the next baby? insya allah with all my might i will.

the good things of breastfeeding is so much that i cant listed it all here:
from the health of your child(sakit pun insya allah tak teruk dan lama), very cheerful, strong,
very close to you. very. maybe because my baby is a girl dia sangat obedient.
and the best thing is that you leave part of you with your baby although you pergi kerja with is your milk.
so you are actually all the time with them. :-)

best thing is that
i dont have to  bring my awful koyak cooler bag anymore.
yay can use back my handbag!
no more heavy ice pack to carry.
no more preparing milk bottles.
no more preparing breastpump.
no more all those washing and sterilize 100 parts of it.
no more rushing work for 3 pumping session
no more worrying bout milk is not enough and etc.
but aleena is still adjusting to my milk is low at night,
she use to feed frequently at night.so agak kesian disitu.
bancuh susu pun tak mau.
just need adjusting.

when she finally wean off barulah boleh fikir pasal next baby!
till then.:-)

i am willing to share my tips if any mothers out there nak tanya apa apa.

moron

Aku stress.

From a mother to a mother.
How can you ever judge another mother?

Yes, my daughter is often sick. especially after
she is in the nursery. Dont you think i take all the
precaution i can? i fully breastfeed my baby for heaven sake.
That is my biggest prevention.

What can i do that she cry often? i dont understand what she wants.
She cry when she dindt get her way,which baby doesnt?
and yes because of this i refuse to have another baby at this moment.

i am piss off right now.

i am not as fortunate as you.
so quick whining bout your pitiful life of being a full time mother with no career whatsoever and suck it up
be thankful you moron

Sayangku Aleena

Over the weekend seriously tak buat apa pun.
Just stay at home for the long weekend.
so sad right.

anyway just posting pictures of my dearest Aleena.
Somebody mention to me that i adore and love aleena deeply. yes sangat. anak kot.
sayang ketat ketat.

Wordless wednesday

Sleeping patten

Aleena oooOOOoOih Aleena

Tidur itu penting tak?
As for me i need to sleep but if my sleep is interupted i am okay with it
Legalah bila jadi mak ni memang la tidur tu terganggu.
Dan tidur itu dah terganggu selama lebih 2 tahun.
Dari start mengandung sehinggalah sekarang.

Masa dalam pantang kan, aku sangat tak suka.satu pergerakan restricted. Kedua sebab
baru nak biasakan diri dengan anak, so schedule hidup tunggang-langgang.
Nak established breastfeeding lagi.
Aku stress gila, luckily my mom realize that and force my bff to come and visit me often.
Rasa macam stress gila sebab baru nak belajar jaga anak kan.

Malam memang paling worse. sebab kau sorang-sorang, nak tidurkan anak.kau sendiri ngantuk.
Nak kacau suami kesian dia kerja besoknya.
Luckily ada buaian, at least dari kol 10 malam sampai 12 malam suami buai anak bagi aku tidur.

and malam has been very troublesome for me.
sebab i want aleena to sleep trough the night so that bila dia awake pagi dia ceria and cergas.
dulu masa aleena ada pengasuh di rumah tak apa lah i can leave her to continue sleeping
but as for now since i had to sent her to the nursery memang kalau malam dia tidur tak cukup dia cranky pagi.

Okay aleena sleep from 7.30 pm to morning. Morning means bila mama bangun dia bangun. Since dia guna my nipple as pacifier, memang gitulah.
anyway at least dia lepas juga la nipple aku.
so in between dia memang akan dream feed. many times. as frequent as hourly. and dulu memang aku weng la bila bangun pagi,
and usually sampai office first things aku minum kopi dulu.

memang la tak tidur lena sekarang. tambah plak kalau tak sihat.lagi la weh.
aleena ni frequently demam. make me feel like a failure mother. hence i blame it on the nursery bahahaha
pedulik. sebab hantar nursery anak aku selalu sakit. settle.so aku rasa kurang sikir burden mak tak guna tu.

Baru-baru ni demam 5 hari. tak tau apa punca. but i blame it on myself sebab selalu sakit and aku makan
habbatus sauda high dose sikit. Panas kan. Demam la budak tu. Stop alhamdulilah terus ok.

anyway, selesai aku breastfeeding. aku nak cuti setahun before ada anak lagi. aku nak rehat sepuasnya.

sebab bila ada anak lagi this cycle continue people!

Ni kes malam tadi aleena bangun banyak kali, Aleena oi bila hang dah besaq baca ni baru hang tau sian mak hang!

Time

When you are a mother, did you realized your time is so crutial
that it is wasnt enough the 24 hours a day?
yes..

Memang tak sempat kan nak buat apa.
but today i would like to talk about the ME time.

ME ME ME ME

duh.. dont say we are not a good mother cause we need a
ME time.

let me rant ok.

Everyday life is really hectic. Cause you are managing many people at once.
You dont manage yourself but your children and husband too.
You are managing your household.
Gah...

time is not enough.

Paling best bangun pagi nak buang air tak kiralah besar ke kecik,
anak merengek nak bermanja. Hah masuklah sekali dalam bilik air.

Dulu aku boleh masak lagi, sekarang tak boleh anak tagging kat kaki minta
dukung.

Sejak urat putus hari tu sampai bedridden sekejap, aku tak sanggup dah overdo myself.
no more supermommy!.

Rumah aku sumpah tunggang langgang. Aku dah kurang pedulik. Sumpah stress tengok tapi aku tak larat nak exert myself
lagi.

Peti ais aku kosong takde mende nak masak.
sumpah stress juga.
Bila nak makan luar aku tak tau nak makan apa.
Nasi goreng hari-hari sangat membunuh dan memuakkan.

Stress.

Stress paham?

Tapi bestnya dapat melepak bermanja dengan Aleena lama-lama tanpa perlu masak adalah heaven.

Walaupun perasaan nak anak lagi membuak-buak, tapi it is a NO NO right now kerana i wanna give
full attention to aleena. satg mengandung sakit takleh layan aleena masa dia tengah
crave for attention sekarang lagi haru.
Give all the love until she understand and can talk full sentences first.
Senang nak nasihat and explain this and that.
For now tak payah la.
Memang aku tak mampu physically and mentally.
Biarlah anak gap jauh pun.

government or private sector.

Susah nak take the leap to improve my career.
terlalu rasa comfortable in government sector.
Seriously.
Gaji banyak. walaupun lagi banyak la pergi private.
tapi dia comfort of being comfirm kerja kau ni ada selamanya.
inysa allah.
Tapi nak kaya tak dapatlah.
aku pun terfikir if ever aku ada gut nak bukak my own
pharmacy business.
barulah kaya raya.
boleh travel there and here.
first class.
and boleh hantar anak belajar good school.
and takyah risau anak kena amik ptptn or loan.
or need scholarship.

banyak offer kerja.
i should take now.
nanti in the future,banyak budak junior ni yang amik tempat.
habislah.
stuck in government forever and menyesal.

People says i shall maintain working in government because
my husband is in private sector.
kerja tak stabil.
sigh.




so i am confuse.

i really wanna challenge myself.
at the same time i dont think bringing up kids can allow me to do so.
if i had to choose between career and my kids.
of course i will choose my family instead.
just that i wanna give the best.

so yeah money is crutial.

but anyway, currently i dont have the guts to do so yet.

stay.

Aleena

My dear Little Princess Aleena

She is now 1 Years and 9 months.
She has grown into masya allah a beautiful girl.
I am truly thankful and bless for her.

Since she masuk nursery, she is often sick. On and off.
Flu there and here. Fever but always alhamdullilah resolves quickly.

But last week she had a 5 days fever. Not a high grade one.
With no flu or cough. So decided to just sponge and give her Supp PcM and voltaren.
Alhadmullilah she already recovered. And im enjoying her while she is healthy.

I do notice that aleena is easily disturb and cry. Often because she dindt
get what she wants or her way.
Or because somebody disturb her. For example quarell over a toys or something.
Thus she will continue this to her sleep as well.
So she will on and off sleep and awaken crying.
Tiring for her and us as a parents too.

So we need to keep her happy the night before.
So yeah. problem ni.
Actually if us the parents is not around she will be ok.
play all day in nursery.
no problem at all.\
i guess it is a common problem la.
All toddlers wants attention. so they cry, scream and merengek all day long.
gah

Mini steamboat and grill

My PIL came in last weekend.
Hantar my sis in law masuk TESL UKM.
so we decided to have a steamboat and grilled for fun
cause my Bro in law came as well.

Awesome food. Awesome time.

Semua bahan beli dekat JUsco Au2
they have the best marinated beef ever. seriously and they are cheap too.

New Car

This year macam wow so many big event happens.
Which will only be summarized once we reach december ya?
As for now i add on a new thing.
new commitment in life.

A new car:-)
Yay.

Naik pangkat, tukar kereta.
nanti naik pangkat lagi, tukar lagi.
Pengsan.

Bought the new honda civic 2.0.
Impromptu decision.
before raya.
in a week only, poof. new car. gila.

:-) but suka sangat sebab aku dan suami kan macam besaq gila.
so kereta myvi tu tak releven lagi.
so yeah. what a busy 2013 it is.

Dilema ibu bekerja

Dilema bekerja atau tidak.
memang menjaga anak sepenuhnya di rumah adalah
impian semua ibu didunia.
Gila kau hati ni tak tenteram bagi sesiapa
pun jaga.
Tambah aku ni hantar nursery selepas Aleena
dijaga sepupu aku selama ni.
Balik amik anak tengok dia terpingga-pingga sorang-sorang.
Tak de orang la nak bagi perhatian lebih dekat anak kau.
Ramai lagi kot budak lain nursery nak jaga.
Cuma seronok bila amik anak di nursery dia akan melompat kegembiraan
nampak kau macam dah tak jumpa bertahun.
Sedih dan terharu bercampur baur.
Kesian aleena dan semua anak-anak yang dihantar ke taska.
Tapi aleena macam happy juga di taska sebab ramai
budak boleh main sama-sama. Dia memang jenis friendly suka main.
Aku anggap la macam hantar playschool.
Downside nya adalah dia selalu subahanallah demam dan sakit.
Aku pasrah.
Sedih tengok dia selesema sebulan tak baik.
Kudis dan parut sana sini. Nyamuk gigit, dia garu, luka, kuman dan tinggal parut.
sedih.

banyak sedih juga jadi mak yang bekerja ni.
hati selalu terguris tengok anak macam tu.
hantar pagi pukul 6.45 am, nursery baru buka pintu.
setiap hari satu guris. Kau bayangkan bertahun-tahun.
lama-lama hati aku numb. T_T
Anak tu priority. Sebab tak mampu nak hidup senang dan mewah
jadi aku kena kerja juga. Kalau harap gaji suami je kena
dok kampung.hehe. tapi aku nak dok kl. family semua sini.
nak makan sedap dan beli pelbagai mainan dan baju mahal untuk anak.
Sebab aku percaya bagi yang terbaik untuk anak, insya allah
selamanya dia akan dapat yang terbaik dalam hidupnya.
Itu pendapat dan kepercayaan aku.
Orang lain tak tau la.

jadi cuti aku dari 25 hari, sekarang bulan September tinggal 5 hari.
Sebab bila anak demam aku akan cuti.
Seminggu pun pedulik.
2 tahun terambil cuti lebih. Kena potong gaji, I dont really care cause,
prinsip aku, anak tu paling penting. Tapi sebab aku kena kerja juga,
so amik la cuti bila anak tak sihat. Dalam setahun 365 hari kalau kena potong gaji
3-4 hari tu apa sangat lah.
kacau perjalanan karier katanya oleh Human resource.
aku jawab:
Bila masa plak aku keje untuk career. aku keje untuk dapat
pahala dan duit lebey nak belanja hidup dan anak.
jadi career kacau, rekod tak cantik pun xpe.
not my priority.
itu akulah..tak tau orang lain.
setiap kali anak demam walau aku takot sikit lah nak amik
cuti sebab takot orang kena tanggung tugas aku dan boss bengkek.
Aku remind myself of my priority list.
and what is career and money if aleena makin sakit?
aleena itu penting.
:-)

so aku dah ok sekarang. cuti habis pun pedulik. janji aku bahagia.


dilema aku lagi.
bila balik kerja aku jalan laju gila.
Sumpah kalau masuk pertandingan walkathon aku menang sampai olimpik.
Laju weh.
Mind you aku ada asthma.
so bila jalan laju, sampai kereta aku mengah gila.
Kalau aku ni berkulit putih, muka aku masa tu biru.
tapi sebab kulit aku gelap, tak nampak apa la.
Tambah asthma aku tak control sekarang.

OWh, sebab aku jalan laju ialah aku tak mau
biar aleena tunggu aku lama nak jemput dia di nursery.
Time with her during weekdays is very priceless.
sat ja boleh spent time dengan dia.
by 7,30pm dia dah tidur. tu bedtime dia.
memang tetiap malam waktu tu dia dah meroyan nak tidur.
so aku memang susah nak keluar malam.

uish, monday blues memang gini. rindu anak tahap gaban.
Sorry to say la, bapak ayah papa semua tak akan rasa
apa yang mommies semua rasakan.
pure love i tell you.
Pure love.

happiness

what define happiness?
i dont know bout others but my life is. alhamdulillah.

i dont pretty much make my life complicated. i dont think much. i do, but not too much.
i am okay with whatever we have or had.
i am bless with aleena and my husband.
i am okay with staying in HKL kuarters instead of my own house. i called this my home now.
i am okay with the car that i drive.
i am okay with most of the things.

i dont need much anyway. i need good food, a home, my daughter and my husband.
my bills all settle and im done.

basically i dont need expensive and branded stuff. i am settled with whatever i can get.
i will thrive for more. but i dont stress out myself for it.
i dont bother much what other think of me. dont really care coz what my family think of me is far more important.
i dont bother and care what other people do or does.
i really am dont care and give a damn.

i guess that is why i am happy.
   

Women

We women usually devoted our life for something or someone else. To God. 

to our parents, family.
As a daughter, a wife, a mother, a worker and everything.

we women, usually  willing to do anything for the one that we love. we do everything and anything,

we dont ask anything for return for all those things we do passionately, but just a little appriciation.

 as a mother and a wife, you dont have much time for yourself. even a toilet break. but we dont easily let those things get over us cause we want the best for our family, the loves one.

we cook, clean, nurture our baby.
with tenderness love and care.
sometimes we do broke down. coz we are human. tired.

housewife are damn lucky. yes you are tired doing all those house chores but, you for who? for the family,damn you are lucky. 

i do all those house chores too, and i work too.
8-5 doesnt just start at 8 am.

all those preparation for daily activites and all those nursery stuff.
rushing there and here. 

i have never walked slow ever after i got aleena. always rush back to her so that i can spend more time with her and yeah those other works too.

always rushing.

we women always aims and do the best in everything. we wants the best. so we work towards that. in the end when we dindt manage to get it we can easily loose it. the frustration is beyond words.

sigh. this is me tired.

i am too happy masya allah in life that sometimes when i just wanted to let a little cry to soothe myself, i cant. it just wont come out coz whenever i am sad i remember all those happiness and greatness that god gaves me.
i shall be thankfull.

despite being tired i am okay.

 

hati bahagia berbunga riang

Semua orang tanya kenapa badan aku bagai di pam pam.
to tell you the truth hati saya sangat bahagia dan berbunga riang. seriously sangat alhamdulillah happy. 

Suami saya sangat menyenangkan jiwa dan ragaku. My life is simple and wonderful. gila ayat iklan ke apa ni. tapi memang, aku sangat bahagia.
Allah s.w.t gave me my husband yang of course ada flaw-nya, tapi yang paling penting dia sangat sabar dan menyenangkan jiwa. tak menyakitkan hati dan penyayang.

flaw suami saya-malaih tolong kemaih umah. tapi saya rajin so tak ape, dia rajin masak and melayan saya dan aleena. 

tapi if saya nak minta tolong apa apa just ask. DONE

my husband is the opposite me in every way.
i sangat kalut ke laut- he is so calm
i sangat angry bird tetapi dia ialah baik macam rabbit
i sangat kurang sabaq gila tahap gaban- dia sabaaaaaaq gila
i sangat tak observance hence if suami saya bukan jenis observance banyak yang aleena buat saya terlepas   


tapi..both of us gila makan and masak :-)
we both saya gila tengok movie dan series:-)
he is my bestfriend sebab i can talk about anything to him, he wont judge me.

buruk baik dia terima.

Saya sangat gemuk buat masa ini kerana:
1. terlalu bahagia alhamdulillah
2. masih menyusu aleena, dieting will reduce my milk supply,so i rather gemuk hihi. 4 more months to go!


so there is your answer 

Motivation

Being a mother and a wife is the toughest task in the entire world. i bet it is easier to be a president of a country than being a mother and a wife.

You need to be motivated all the time. You cannot be depress or down in order to get trough the day. heck you cant even be sick.
Your daily activities is filled every minutes of the day. If you are a housewife from the moment you are awake you need to do a lot of thing. If you are a working mom too. Well that is for me. I do both.
Working, Cleaning, Cooking and etc etc. Tiring as hell. sorry to say but im happy to do them.It is just that emotionally, sometimes i am down to. Tiring and disappointing. But i dont really play well with my emotion. Usually i will just ignore them coz i cant afford to be down and depress. my family daily life depend on me totally.

to tell the truth i am tired. but i am feeling satisfied that i did everything right by the end of the day.so i dont really have time for myself. mandi pun anak tagging sekali. (dont imagine how), so no time for myself. but it is not a bad thing that every friday during lunch time i will savor those long lunch period for  myself. go out with friends and eat expensive food bahaha or go to the salon and spa. so that is my precious time. 

 Usually at 5 pm sharp i will run to my car to fetch aleena. not a minute waste.i got long chores awaiting me at home too. 

Fetch aleena from nursery , keep milk in the fridge, breastfeed aleena, wash and sterile bottle and pump, cook, do the laundry, sweep and mop the floor, get aleena nursery stuff ready.

so yeah.. 


 

Our mini House Warming

Did a mini open house. My awesome MIL cooked delicious nasi dagang with krutuk daging and udang. Seriously awesome.

so call a few close friends and family to come and instantly become a house warming as well.

(again long overdue post)

 

Grand Hyatt Hotel Kuala Lumpur

Looooooong post overdue.

Let me just say that im a sucker for lavish and expensive hotel.
i dont like travel much, so whenever im in need of a holiday, i would rather find a nice hotel and check in for a weekend.

Been to most hotel in KL already. 
Let me do a bit review on Grand Hyatt KL.

Its a new hotel. i check in back in March? Cant really remember.
but anyway we had a good time here. will gladly to go again.

We love the buffet breakfast but, it is soooOOOoO expensive. baaha but the view is breathtaking!

 View from our room!

   cantik kan.... tapi malas nak tulis panjang panjang. bye